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Talk to Me!!! Back In The Day….. After WWII, our GIs returned stateside invested their saved and obtained veteran sponsored loans to purchase their own homes and Harleys, cars and the advent of lots of other technological advancements post war. And as if by chance in those years following the war, there was also the advent of the low-cost ranch style home and suburb living developments including the roads, stores, schools that needed to be there for all of the new housing. Often credited to William J. Levitt. I am thinking you can remember a bit about that time and what was soon to happen throughout the United States. Bill Levitt started such Levittown developments. The first on Long Island for Levittown, New York. Then, in Levittown, Pennsylvania began in 52. The homes offered affordable housing with low down payments. The working population was now seeking to get away from the high density city superstructures and have their “own piece of land.” Throughout the nation suburbs would pop up with all of the amenities now being offered miles and miles away from the city from which the workers were traveling to and from for their employment. In some instances, the larger companies were providing can shuttle to and from work so that people could “car ” and save as often the companies offered the shuttle as a perk for employment. Now, out in Los Angeles, as an example. You can remember over time as you read or heard the news if you did not in fact live in or around L.A., that the freeways and traffic there has always been very slow with long traffic jams everywhere. Depending on the suburb, you could be 60 miles or more from your work in the city. With delays, a trip to work could take 3 hours times each way! So, the car would often start at 5am and the shuttle would not get back “home” in their suburban development until well into that evening. To be sure, a very long day…to get to work for work and then the shuttle back. A aside here to add a fact I will get back to on the subject of “suburban living.” Bear with me here….Statistics in the 60s provided a shocking fact. That, on average a married couple did not devote more than fifteen minutes of all-important, open, honest, sit-down level of heart-to-heart “you and me” communication in a day’s time. When I heard that from that incredible professor in my university Courtship & Marriage class, I, and I would guess all of the other students were dumbfounded and an energetic discussion ensued right after this cold fact was divulged to us. “You mean to say…. couples do not take the interest and the time daily to devote to sitting down and getting to know each other?” Adding….and all other that you can infer that you would get from a desired open and honest communication to truly delve into each other’s personal desires, hopes, fears, family life and all else???? To that of truly being a partner and wanting to share in your combined lifescape. Nope. The answer was one word….. “No!” The average couple spent less than fifteen minutes in conversing with their spouse on a daily basis. Adding to that injury, most of that was geared to the very simplistic … “gosh, traffic was brutal today…saw accidents on the way!” and ditto, ditto, ditto as they passed very simplistic comments in passing as the day ended and then they were off to bed and the start of the new day in the morning. It was then no surprise when the professor added the following to this already shocking story…. That in the shuttle drive to and from work…. The men and women paired together in those shuttle vans were communicating more with their co-workers than their own spouses on the drive. The result? There occurred an over-abundance of divorces from their initial spouses….and then relationships and marriages amongst the shuttle shared co-workers of the opposite sex. Studies showed, that the close quarters in the shuttle vans forced communication by proximity and those parties were getting to know more about each other. Better and more honest communication than that which they were partaking in with their own spouses. Lessons learned from the above? About the continued need for complete, open, honest communication to always be present in your cherished relationships. In full disclosure, I myself place open and honest communication as the top priority in the establishment of a profound relationship. I talk….A LOT! I never had a state fair job where I was the one who “reads minds.” Sorry, not a skill that I have. I need to “ask,” I need to “talk,” I need to “explain and question” when the need arises. Trust me, that is daily and often! Oh well! |
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I crave communication. Without it leads to depression.
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