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I laughed the loudest at the first and last ones 
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An old lady got on an elevator in a very lavish building,when a young woman gets on smelling of perfume. The woman turns to the old woman and arrogantly says "Romance by Ralph Lauren $150.00 an ounce!" Then another young woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly says "Chanel#5 $200.00 an ounce!" About 3 floors later,the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator, but before she leaves,she looks at both women in the eye,bends over Farts and says "Broccoli 49 cents a pound!" Abracadabra 
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