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starwomyn 70F
5469 posts
12/30/2018 9:31 pm

Last Read:
1/22/2019 10:17 pm

Seasonal Depression, Eldering & What Would Annie Say?

The winter and holiday season seems to intensify feeling that are much easier to cope with during the rest of the year. Loneliness, insecurities, and hurts magnify. It used to be that I would just get on the phone to California and call Annie. She always knew the right thing to tell me. Annie passed away earlier this year.

So this morning I was feeling Seasonal Affective Disorder and most years I would give Annie a call. Annie crossed over to the other side earlier this year so I had to think to myself "What would Annie Say?" She always talked about Blind Faith, God shots and Cutting your losses. So I had to apply the wisdom that she shared and try to give it away to somebody else.

What happens when we need eldering and we are the elders. Once upon a time, I was the youngest person in my 12 Step Group - now I am the oldest. Where did the middle years go?

When my mother died, it was the end of her generation and suddenly - my siblings and I were the first generation in my father's line. I am the oldest sibling. Oh Joy!!! I miss the talks with my maternal great grandmother. I adored her. I also miss my Father who turned out to be my guardian angel.

I am certainly not the wise old granny (my grandbaby's only two) but I am the cool aunt. I am also the hip cousin and a 12 Step Old Timer to boot.

Today at the Quaker Meeting, we were talking about eldering. Our Clerk (church equivalence) of Pastor is someone that I frequently listen to and respect as an elder although he is only two years older than I am. He always says something profound that I can apply to daily living. My Quaker girlfriend said that I am always saying something profound. Eldering is enriching but sometimes we need eldering too.




Abracadabra


starwomyn 70F
8871 posts
12/30/2018 9:34 pm

Life on Life's Terms

Abracadabra


LeafReport 73M

12/31/2018 4:28 am

I too really struggle in the winter. The thing is that I'm a very active person generally. I walk 40 to 50 miles a week even in the winter. But Jan and Feb are really tough months for me. I just declare spring on March 1 whether its warm or not, and its usually not. A couple years ago I pushed winter back to Christmas so I've done a little posturing to help me cope. Olympic years are a real help but this isn't one of them. I love politics so with the presidential campaigns kicking off, or at least the rumors will, that should help me some. Impeachment would too. But I still know its going to be hard. I'm not sure what I'll try this year. But I need to come up with something soon.


MrsJoe 76F
17280 posts
12/31/2018 5:18 am

Two thoughts crossed my mind as I read your blog. The first, was something I've heard taught by more than one pastor. The biggest cause of burnout in the ministry is failure to recharge your own batteries. Ministers give out so much that they get drained and just give up.
The second was something I've felt for a few years now........ I've been the strong pillar of strength in the family for a long time, and as my children have become that to their children and grandchildren, they have failed to see my aging.
Yes, it is creeping up slowly on me, but when I look back and realize that it wasn't that long ago, I was my children's age, I realize that the future years will spring up just as fast as the past years have flown by.


Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.


Rentier2 79M
950 posts
12/31/2018 5:38 am

I'm the oldest in mine as well.
Doesn't bother me a bit.


LeafReport 73M

12/31/2018 8:14 am

    Quoting  :

Come on...50 miles is nothing for me now. You don't walk...the WHOPPER is what makes you FAT


jiminycricket1 73M
13732 posts
12/31/2018 8:20 am

What I find "difficult" about the end of the year, Holidays....

Is reflection.....

As I become more "elderly".. I find more time in the year to become reflective...but never is it as emphatic, as it is over Christmas.

It's kind of a "catch 22"... "to be or not to be".....

To not give up.....when you realize.. at the end ...your whole life will be just be one reflection..
So what I keep thinking.. It's never too late.... Every year I get a Christmas present.. I give it to myself...I try to gladly accept the past year of living, and the next year to live on...I will not stand pat on just my past reflections...AS the only reflection that will matter.... will be my last one.
I got to TRY to make it the best it can be.... I don't pray to be young again.. I pray to find the strength, for there is so much more to be done......I'm not there YET....and I feel bad for those who think they are... for time will not be their friend.. All the things I talk about, are about THAT.. Truth, ideals, love, compassion, family, humanity and even country.. I have no more room for hate and Lies.. I can't afford any more mistakes. So be it... my reflection.......For it's not what other think of me...It's what I think of myself. .......I am not ready YET.. for my last reflection, and my own "Heaven" or "Hell" it will bring..


jiminycricket1 73M
13732 posts
12/31/2018 9:17 am

    Quoting  :

Like I said Christmas for me is a time of reflection...I watch A Christmas Carol" every year..Because it about being reflective.

I take no pleasure in this response to you....

but.. I'll work on it next year or tomorrow..

Why did you jump in with this comment?
Is it not true?..... to judge, one must be judged
to find fault?.. one must know their own fault..

You judge and find fault in things you do not know..
maybe you don't observe Christmas. but it's no excuse
Picture this..
I'll put a "cap" on it.....Even though you can't see it. and think you can make others not see it.. You're still BALD..


LeafReport 73M

12/31/2018 9:34 am

    Quoting  :

Hi Bob, Relax you're just a FATHEAD....a BALD FATHEAD


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
12/31/2018 12:23 pm

Wow, Star,good blog...... I think I think I get what you're saying......Most of my elders are gone........At a recent memorial where my children and their families were all present an acquaintance remarked that she loved seeing me as the Matriarch......I suddenly felt very self-conscious......

My good friend and mentor who has been very ill for a while now, has scheduled her death for tomorrow.......I surprised myself yesterday when I sobbed like a baby missing her mother. I was so used to her at my side...........her tastes are simple and elegant and we often exchanged our creations. I have several of her Raku pieces. But she was outraged and appalled at some of my wardrobe choices. The last time that happened, I wore flowered leggings with a leopard-print top........I will never experience that again.........I just don't know what to do with all that love..........So much unbounded love spilling over and trailing grief........Walking helps........


jiminycricket1 73M
13732 posts
1/1/2019 7:15 am

    Quoting  :

yes..... I have lost some hair follicles...

But what you don't see is that "bald" is not about that..

It's more about brain cells than follicles...

IT"S A "STATE OF MIND"....


brightsmile003B 84F

1/1/2019 5:44 pm

Hello Starwomyn........Thanks for this great blog. I can relate to everything that you said. I am the oldest in my circle now and as an elder I sometime need some eldering and your blog did help me. I wish you a happy and healthy new year.