| Blogs > starwomyn > un·a·pol·o·get·ically STAR!!! |
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Living on Death Row Yesterday, I was sitting at my computer next to the living room window. I noticed a cop walking by. Interesting, we don't have a bunch of lawbreakers living here. A hour later, there are several paramedics walking by. I figured something must be happening next door. My neighbor has serious health problems. I peeked out my door and indeed they are all in his apartment. My inclination is to stay out of thier way but I did call another neighbor and asked what was going on with Jason. He died. His careprovider came in this morning and found him. Jason is the fourth neighbor who died in that apartment. A lady who lived on the other side of my apartment also died. Sometimes I have to ask, "Am I living on Death Row." Since I live in senior housing, it should be a normal occurrence but it still feels strange. Jason was a retired EMT. His ex-wife was a New York City police officer. I drove him to numerous medical appointments, to the grocery store and to the bank until he was able to get in-home support services. His care-provider walked in and found him yesterday morning. I found the previous neighbor sitting in my car in the middle of winter. Regina forgot where she lived. She was totally confused and disoriented. I tried guiding her back to her apartment but she kept wanting to head to the forest looking for her previous home. I got her to safety and called the Paramedics. She had Leukemia but I am not sure the treatments helped her. They may have done more harm than good. She died when she was hospitalized. There was Marion, an elderly woman who left her abusive husband. The 1000 year flood happened when she was living there. There was no running water for about a month. I made sure that she had bottled water and groceries. She was hoping to outlive her husband so that she could get his money. She didn't. She had a heart attack and died first. The next gentleman died as I moving in. I never met him. The woman on the other side of the apartment was Nancy. She had mental health problems but that doesn't make her a moral issue. I also made sure that she had food and water during the 1000 year flood. Her lost her home and job during the flood thus had her own troubles to deal with. The Greenbrier housed flood victims including the . The was offered a job and eventfully the hotel helped her with Nursing School. It took a while for the McDonald's where the previously worked to be rebuilt. When Nancy would not answer her phone her knew something was wrong. The police found her dead. So why does the Angel of Death keep bypassing my door? Regina and Nancy were younger. Jason was my age while Marion was a tad bit older. There comes a point where stepping over to the other side is not the major league tragedy. I often miss the person that I used to be when I was younger. I can't run a 10K anymore nor can I lift 50 pound boxes of merchandise at my retail job. I am waiting for a new hip so that I don't have to walk with a cane. Guys are not lined up at my doorstep declaring their love (more like lust) for me. That might be a good thing. Still, I have to be grateful to what I can still do. I can make sure that my neighbors are okay. Abracadabra  |
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One day at a time is all that we really have. Abracadabra
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The inevitable end of every living object is death! Yes, living one day at a time is all we really have. But we tend to forget this most of our time!
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I have felt a lot like that over the past couple years.... not the people near me physically because there are none, but with our loved ones: family and friends. I guess in a matter of speaking, we all live on death row. I remember a long time ago, I read a quote, "From the moment we are born, we begin to die." I don't know who said it, but it is rather thought provoking. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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7/1/2021 8:00 am |
I know a couple who sold the farm & moved to a retirement housing complex. I would see them around this small town & miles away at dances. Always smiling & happy. I have been thinking that it might be a good thing to sell the man cave---slow down & ditch the workaholic impulse. But then again if all I did was sit at this computer like now I might get crazier than I already am! LOL The man cave & my trusted tractor are 40 miles away with another building full of man toys & the gas bill for travel is $300 per month & rising. It keeps me active but taxes, cost of travel, insurance, and utilities are all rising. It is now too hot to fish But I am sitting here resting up for the dance tonight since they are going to have those again. Hopefully I will remember how it is done ( dance ). LOL Please! no wise remarks on that one. LOLOL I need advice on when to take the next step (in life) SERIOUSLY! Party On!
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NEVER ASK FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS. I HAVE LOST ALL OF MY HUSBAND'S SISTERS AND BROTHERS PLUS THEIR SPOUSES. SEVERAL NEIGHBORS IN THIS BUILDING HAVE PASS AWAY OVER THE YEARS AND I LIVE IN A REGION WHERE THERE ARE MANY RETIRED FOLKS. MY BROTHER IS GONE AS I BELIEVE IS MY SISTER-IN-LAW BUT I AM STILL HERE PLODDING ON FROM DAY TO DAY AND INTEND DOING SO IF ONLY TO IRK THE FOLKS WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE ME GONE. LIFE IS ABOUT LIVING AND THAT IS WHAT I INTEND TO DO.
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I know a couple who sold the farm & moved to a retirement housing complex. I would see them around this small town & miles away at dances. Always smiling & happy. I have been thinking that it might be a good thing to sell the man cave---slow down & ditch the workaholic impulse. But then again if all I did was sit at this computer like now I might get crazier than I already am! LOL The man cave & my trusted tractor are 40 miles away with another building full of man toys & the gas bill for travel is $300 per month & rising. It keeps me active but taxes, cost of travel, insurance, and utilities are all rising. It is now too hot to fish But I am sitting here resting up for the dance tonight since they are going to have those again. Hopefully I will remember how it is done ( dance ). LOL Please! no wise remarks on that one. LOLOL I need advice on when to take the next step (in life) SERIOUSLY! Party On! It appears the answer is in being active, doing whatever you enjoy doing. I've often thought about giving up the booths we have in a couple of shops, because sometimes I get behind in keeping them stocked.... but then I think, "What else would I be doing?" and the answer is just sitting around. Better to keep busy. So do what you like doing for as long as you can and still enjoy doing it. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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I have a friend in a rest home, 8 died in one week she told me, about 6 months before Covid hit. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
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When our time comes, we can't stop it! I think many a time of selling my land and moving into a duplex, or something smaller than what I have, but I know if I do, there will be nothing left in my life to keep me motivated. I still pick up hay bails and 50 pound feed bags, jump on the tractor, take care of the property, and when the weather is cooler, I'll ride my horse. I tell my kids that one day they're going to come out and I'll be dead. We kind of laugh about it, them trying to find my body if I drop dead outside. We figure the wild animals will drag it away and no one will ever find me again. We'll just call it an alien abduction and I'm living on another planet where I'll never age anymore.
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Last week on my evening walk, I had just crossed the road to go up my driveway, a car drove by from behind, and honked as it went by, which startled me and when it passed by it looked like it leaned over so the wheels on one side were up in the air and I had the impression of someone with their elbow leaning on the open window sill and hair flying in the wind and a lingering laugh......The small pearlescent blue hatchback was unmistakeable.....there is only one car like that on the island........and it belonged to a very staid and proper elderly woman who never in all the 30 year I knew her, would behave that way.......She was a fellow artist, a potter, whose signature cornflower-blue glaze was the same colour as she had her car custom painted......... I just learned that she died.....apparently doctor-assisted suicide.......She had told no one, except perhaps very close friends who were sworn to silence.....When I was told, I was in such shock that I had forgotten the car incident........I still don't know if it was her or someone else driving her car......It looked like a cartoon car when it went by.....so odd.....
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By the way Star.....Wonderful blogs you're posting....so deeply Human and stirring....
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Last week on my evening walk, I had just crossed the road to go up my driveway, a car drove by from behind, and honked as it went by, which startled me and when it passed by it looked like it leaned over so the wheels on one side were up in the air and I had the impression of someone with their elbow leaning on the open window sill and hair flying in the wind and a lingering laugh......The small pearlescent blue hatchback was unmistakeable.....there is only one car like that on the island........and it belonged to a very staid and proper elderly woman who never in all the 30 year I knew her, would behave that way.......She was a fellow artist, a potter, whose signature cornflower-blue glaze was the same colour as she had her car custom painted......... I just learned that she died.....apparently doctor-assisted suicide.......She had told no one, except perhaps very close friends who were sworn to silence.....When I was told, I was in such shock that I had forgotten the car incident........I still don't know if it was her or someone else driving her car......It looked like a cartoon car when it went by.....so odd..... Abracadabra
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I know that your beliefs are different than mine but I am inclined to believe that was a message from your fellow artist friend giving you a howdy while she was letting laughing, letting loose, and stepping over to the other side. Yea or Nay, no one knows anything for certain.  .
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