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There is a difference between being Alone and being Lonely I know this to be so very true. Because I have been both places. For now I am alone, I live alone, I go about my chores alone, see my doctor, do my time in the hospital alone. And yet, at least in the last 3 or 4 years I have not had to feel lonely. Sort of had a strange realization this evening. I went for a visit with my neurologist, and made arrangements to stay at the hospital and participate in a sleep study since I have not been sleeping well at all. And as I sat waiting to start the process, about 9pm the technician told me that two of their computers were down and they would be unable to take me. I informed them that they would have to make arrangements through the travel office of the hospital to get a wheelchair accessible van to get me home. And about an hour and a half I rolled into my home. Had I been lonely, as has happened on occasion, I would have panicked, and started worrying how I would get home and fearing I would be stuck there. That I had no one to help me make decisions, and get depressed. I am disappointed, since I would have been home by 5:30 rather than 10:30, if they had known their computers were messed up. I am disappointed that I had to fix for a quick meal before bed was a sandwich rather than the turkey meatloaf I had planned. But there is always tomorrow. Being lonely is a really terrible state to be in, and I know I am always just a moment away from feeling that way. The difference is, I guess, in having friends like you, women and men, of similar ages, who I can share what is going on inside me. And also having a spiritual contact with a God, who has helped me keep going for so very long, while also keeping the planet spinning, and the sun shining, and the rain, and the ocean, and the trees, and the birds. Definitely, the birds. Not the God of Organized Religion, but a deeply personal, deeply intimate relationship with someone I can occasionally yell at, and not get reprimanded for it. BTW that is a Rainbow Lorikeet 
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3/12/2008 2:13 am |
You can be with someone and still be lonely.That's why I say i'd rather be by myself and be lonely, then be with someone and still be lonely.
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Any injury to the coxyx is very painful...it's the tail of the spine so affects movement, stretching, sitting and rising, and carrying things too. I have spinal arthritis...in my neck and at the base of my spine. You have my sympathies, hope it soon heals and you'll be up and about soon.
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3/12/2008 8:03 am |
I must be very fortunate. I've very rarely felt lonely.
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