Blog : This is a must read a real Hoot!!!!!!

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51 posts
7/12/2008 4:18 am

This is a must read a real Hoot!!!!!!

Idid not wriote this it was sent to me but wanted to share it with you as was so funny
Tassie

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us> in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program.> For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of> adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old whom you> know nothing about and committing to doing your best to be> a good parent.> > Like a , the came with his own idiosyncrasies. He> will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled> as close to my face as he can get. Lest you think this is a> bad case of 'no discipline,' I should tell you that> my husband and I tried every means to break him of this> habit including locking him in a separate bedroom for> several nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.> > Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the> cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years> overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for> family, extended family and a lot of friends. I was,> however, assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous> yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did> attend. (The oven was the only appliance that worked.)> > I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wednesday evening> to reheat on Thursday morning. Since the kitchen was> freshly painted you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the> rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams latex paint #586, I> put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living> room to rise for 5 hours. After 3 hours, Perry and I> decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour.> > An hour later the rolls were ready to go in the oven. It> was 8:30pm.> > When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much> to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called> out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He> literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination> of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man> wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked.> > I swear even his cheeks were bloated.> > I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds> of uproarious laughter, he told me the would probably> be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2> hours for the rest of the night.> > God only knows why I thought a would like Pepto Bismol> any more than my did when they were sick. Suffice to> say that by the time we went to bed the was black,> white and pink.> > He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the> night.> > Naively thinking the would be all better by morning was> very stupid on my part. We arose at 7:30 and as we always do> first thing; put the out to relieve himself. Well, the> was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was> running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of> the time when he was walking his front half was going one> direction and the other half was either dragging the grass> or headed 90 degrees in another direction.> > I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet> (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the> yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed> drunk. He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans> go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours and> to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.> > Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I> loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house> for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day. My sister lives> outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive).> Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk> leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car> between Perry and I, we took off.> > Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp,> but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen> unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure> alcohol.They would have matched or beat any smell in a> drunk tank at the police station.> > But that's not the worst of it. Now he was beginning to> break wind and it smelled like baked rolls! Well, not like> MY baked rolls.> > We endured this for the entire trip to Karee's,> thankful she didn't live any further away than she did.> > Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage> with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our> first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The was the topic> of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to> the garage to witness my drunk dog, each returning with a> tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without> running into something.> > Of course, as the old adage goes, "what goes in must> come out"> > and Jasper was no exception. Having discovered his> "packages" on the garage floor, we loaded him up> in the car so we could hose down the floor. This was> another naive decision on our part.> > The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor,> but the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose.> It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure. We> finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no> one else was going to offer their services) had to get on> my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants> off of the floor.> > And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the darn in> his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw> prints allover the garage floor that had to be brushed too.> > Well, by this time the was sobering up nicely so we> took him home and dropped him off before we left for our> second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's> house. I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the> is back to normal both in size and temperament.> > He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse> for wear I presume.> > I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2> risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door. It> appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of> them, but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a> bad idea.> > Now, I'm doing research on the computer as to "How> to clean unbaked dough from the Carpet."

Lulu99 88F

7/12/2008 10:43 am

Terriers can be a terror ! I laughed at this, you painted a vivid picture. We had one many years ago that pulled down the Christmas tree while we were out.

Robyn5 83F

7/12/2008 2:06 pm

Great doggie stories. My friend has a new Kerry Blue Pup and he buys sausages and gives him one every day with his other food. Yesterday when he went back into the kitchen he saw the Pup, called Teddy, out in the garden with the 8 sausages on a string, and running around madly with them. As regards my dogs, one of them smiles a full smile showing off all her false teeth!!!!!Thanks for the great blog Tassie and your little dog looks gorgeous.

katylovesjazz 73F

696 posts
7/12/2008 2:16 pm

Still cracking up here Tass, lol. Terriers are indeed terrors but soooo sweet and smart. Lol, you have to be careful that they have plenty to amuse them and that they don't get bored. is that a picture of your new baby? What a precious!!!! Thanks for sharing this with us.
Hugs,
Katy

Rocketship 80F