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Dating a Divorced Man...........unconditionally Ladies..........Would you go out with, date or even marry a divorced man unconditionally, or would you want to know the reason for the divorce(s)? How long has he been divorced? want to see the final decree? Where is the ex located? How much is the alimony/support payments? or would you just say I don't want to know the particulars. If the man is not forthcoming on those questions would you require him to tell you all.......I don't know about most men but from my own experience I had no concerns about who, what, where or why about my dates divorce even if it led to a relationship....... "The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind."....T. Paine |
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7/5/2008 10:36 pm |
60minman: You're joking, right? Of course you're joking... that ladies here would or wouldn't want 'Full Disclosure'? The world is a complex/complicated place; that's not 'new' news to most adult-age folks. Even more complex/complicated since advent of the Internet - OH YES! So much more so, can't even be described in usual and ordinary words/phrases. It's no longer a place where we 'knew' all about other folks in the communities where we lived, perhaps b/c we knew their families/rellies, etc. BIG PLAnet -- Small World. However, 'unconditional' anything, in today's world - without verifying "the facts and ALL the facts" ... that just wouldn't be very wise, prudent or even half-smart, would it? eh? Elle712
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60Min: I think to often people in general are too rushed to go into a relationship. I sure would not tell someone the first time I chatted with them about my life story. It takes time to develop trust to share things with someone you are involved with be it friend or a romantic involvement. What should be most important is how you interact with that person. Rome was not built in a day. I think one has to have enough confidence in themselves that you have no need to ask these questions early on. I do think it's necessary to know a certain things about the person you are becoming involved with once it has been determined you both want to take the relationship to the next level. Just don't rush things. I feel it's a persons responsibility to offer this information at the right time. I would not want to be involved with someone that was heavily in debt and couldn't manage his finances. Bruja The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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7/5/2008 11:21 pm |
Having met and chatted with, by I M a couple of Cheating Married men on this site, I do not trust any man on line! Now in person dating, of course I want to know the relevant info regarding his past just as I assume he would want to know my history? Is that not what the dating period is all about sharing your histories and finding out who the other person is?
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Divorce is never one-sided, and hearing half a story is misleading. Taking what we're told into consideration...along with what we've learned about the person,over time...their attitudes, beliefs, etc...seems fair to me. It would be wrong to make any kind of judgement on half a story. Not everyone is honest...but not everone is a liar either. Only time will tell..."everything will come out in the wash" as they say. It's not as if need to bare our souls on the first date...or two or three. It doesn't really become our business until, or if, there is some form of committment.
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7/6/2008 8:21 am |
Hi 60min. I'll have to think while writing this! Having being married to the worst type of man (a psychopathic monster + more) for 22 yrs, and who now states he is divorced and is now re-married, I realize there are a lot of women who would settle for anything. However, I would be careful, I have had a lot of experience and I think I would be able to sum up a cheat, two-timer or a liar. Nobody can be sure, what about you 60minman, would you fall for a divorced woman if you didnt have a woman already, and her only defect is shopping when you dont hold her hand!!!!! 
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7/6/2008 9:49 am |
Several days ago my ex's--girlfriend called me. I don't know what she expected of me. To bash him? IT was hard on me. I listened to her. She went on and on about him. I was married to him for 20 years. I thought the marriage was the best--any man and woman could ever achieve. The divorce was a nightmare. Perhaps memories are subjective. He's the father of my children. If I get close to a man--there are things he might want to know. . . need to know? I have a box of paper work that will validate how the divorce came down and the events that happened. According to the girl friend--my ex says I was a horrible wife--he got out of the marriage with nothing--we hadn't slept together in years--I spent money we didn't have--he stayed for twenty years--only for the sake of the children. He paid all the bills during years it took to get the divorce. And on and on. . . I'm still reeling from the pain of what he tells her about the wife I was to him. Although I struggle and it comes back because I'm tied to him forever--because we share our son . . .I want the past to stop haunting me. Obiviously when marriages don't work out--you weren't seeing eye to eye--why does there have to be "justification" and "bad" guys? If he didn't love me--he just didn't--I challenge any woman to be a better wife to him than I was! Maybe the girlfriend had a "NEED TO KNOW" but I wish I had just hung up the phone. I know that sounds selfish. . . Sorry. . . ~The World According To Spunky~ ----------------------------- "Men should be careful lest they cause women to weep, for God counts their tears." ~The Talmud~
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