| Blogs > Beth1949 > MY WISH AND MY PLEA |
|
SHORT STORIES WITH A SMILE... 1- Elderly Man Thinks Fast An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his fruit orchard. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in the pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!' The old man thought for a second and said, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or to make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator!!  Moral: Old men can still think fast.  ************************** 2- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."  ************************ 3- Aging with Humor I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.  I hope these funnies would bring you a smile, keep happy. Lisa,         |
|||
|
Oh well!! There are funny stories. Hope you like them.
| ||
|
Chuckling at some oldies but goodies...... don't mess with old folks, eh? As for the driver's license scenario, we are at the point where Joe is contemplating not renewing his.......... I hope he does not. He hasn't done any driving for months, and his reflexes, hearing, and sight are compromised. We must all evaluate these things for our safety and the safety of others. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
| ||
|
Hey Tom, good day to you, Thanks for liking my above blog, which is a change from usual ones. Can't always be serious on blogging, some funnies are also needed. Glad I've found those ones. Enjoy your day Tom. Lisa,
| ||
|
Hi MrsJoe, Glad for your visit and your nice comments and my pleasure for giving you a smile. I understand at a certain advanced age, one should not risk driving, specially if he is not healthy. Safety primes really in this case. Here, in my country any senior cannot renew his driving license unless he is examined by the Dr who confirms that he is fit to drive. Accordingly, then his driving license would be renewed. Thanks again for appreciating my above blog MrsJoe. I wish MrJoe's health improves, even not for driving. Kind regards to both of you. Have a pleasant day. Lisa,
| ||
|
Mamannie dear, hi, Am glad these funnies have pleased you. Thanks again and have a pleasant day. Kind regards, Lisa, 
| ||
|
JKH/Kurtis, hi, Great seeing you again on my blog, Kurtis, thanks for the applause and keep smiling lol. Enjoy your day. Kind regards, Lisa,
| ||
|
Funny stories, for sure! We need to laugh every day, is healthy.   Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)
| ||
|
Hello my dear Lucy, Your presence on my blogs always brings a smile on my face for I am so pleased reading from you each time. Glad to know that my above one has also brought your a laugh which is worthy for our daily life and health. Thank you so much my dear Lucy. I wish you and all of yours a wonderful laughing day. Lisa,
| ||
|
"SHORT STORIES WITH A SMILE.." which brought a smile and I thank you.. . The beginning of life, conception..
| ||
|
Hi Hugh, Glad noticing that you have passed by my these previous blogs of mine and thanks for your appreciation. Keep the smile over the weekend which I wish it to be wonderful. Lisa,
|
×
×