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IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TOO HONEST? I read an interesting article about "pathologicial honesty". I am an upfront person but I must confess that I am not honest to a fault. If someone is very close to me, I will give them my honest feelings. If someone isn't quite as near to me, I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings if I could avoid it. What about you? Here is part of the article: "As the name suggests, PathologicalHonesty is the condition of being "honest to a fault". Most of us were originally taught that "honesty is the best policy" yet actual life experience leads us to the conclusion that too much of anything is seldom a good thing. Some have suggested that "innocent" or "white" lies, in fact, provide a vitally needed social lubricant. Consider the converse approach--PathologicalHonesty--in the following example: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" "Yes or Without a doubt. or To the extent that anyone might be said to be fat, definitely true." How about: "It's not the dress, hon" Expected outcome of the above: sleeping alone for unspecified time period.. or at least long enough to reflect seriously on the wisdom of indulging a penchant for PathologicalHonesty indiscriminately in social situations. If someone can be "faulted" for being honest, surely the people that interact with the "honest to a fault" person should also be faulted for faulting the honest, and even coming up with the very concept that there can be "pathological honesty". After all, he who is without fault should throw the first stone."     Elaine Shuel |
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Often, it's not what you 'honestly' say, but how you say it.
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Thanks Maggie. Elaine Shuel
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Thanks for your comment, Pat. I agree that sometimes it is just a way for someone to be insulting. I do believe honesty is the best policy, in most situations. Elaine Shuel
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I think that being brutally honest doesn't always mean that the person is mean. They might be just that way with those they care about, in the sense they don't play games. At least that's what my interpretation of being that way. Elaine Shuel
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I do believe that, Rubi. Everyone says they want the truth but many don't. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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I meant to thank you for your comment, RosesLady. Elaine Shuel
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Every situation is different so one has to size up if honesty is best or just hurtful. Thanks for your response to my post, JustAFewAgn. Elaine Shuel
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What you wrote hit close to home, Lulu. You are so right.  I can't tell you how many people have asked me to read something they wrote. I would ask them ahead, if they are sure they want an honest answer before reading it. When they'd say they did, I would give it. Of course, giving praise for good writing was easy. I tried to not be hurtful when it came to bad feedback but it was difficult. I no longer read anything people write for that reason. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Often, it's not what you 'honestly' say, but how you say it. Elaine Shuel
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In most cases honesty is the best policy. I guess it all depends on the situation and how we handle it at any given time. There is a lot of truth in what Rubi said. I admire people like her, even though I could never be that direct myself. I'm a bit of a fence sitter, always have been lol 
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3/16/2016 6:59 pm |
Once I figured out that when a woman says she wants honest communication it means I should say what she wants to hear, honesty has not been a problem for me.
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In most cases honesty is the best policy. I guess it all depends on the situation and how we handle it at any given time. There is a lot of truth in what Rubi said. I admire people like her, even though I could never be that direct myself. I'm a bit of a fence sitter, always have been lol Elaine Shuel
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Thanks puzzles. Elaine Shuel
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Once I figured out that when a woman says she wants honest communication it means I should say what she wants to hear, honesty has not been a problem for me. Elaine Shuel
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3/17/2016 9:18 pm |
Depends on if you were saying hurtful things to them, rentier. Regardless, I am glad you figured out how to have a good relationship. When I say hurtful things, it's abuse. When she says hurtful things, It's sharing feelings.
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That's another thing i eventually figured out about women. When I say hurtful things, it's abuse. When she says hurtful things, It's sharing feelings. Elaine Shuel
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3/18/2016 8:04 am |
Perhaps it's not what you say but how you say it. But it's a skill I am not that interested in developing. It's far simpler just to take it and not respond.
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Perhaps. But it's a skill I am not that interested in developing. It's far simpler just to take it and not respond. Elaine Shuel
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