| Blogs > hermitinthecity > A hermit's perspective |
|
A Hermit's perspective I believe the marriage problem of today is largely the government's fault. Firstly the word adultery has long been done away with from the divorce courts; the "No Blame Policy" has send men to the wall when it used to be the guilty party that suffered, and rightly so. Men are not interested in legally signing their lives away anymore after seeing horror story after horror story of men losing all they had and destined to a life of slavery to the woman who can continue in another relationship while on his money. Suicide is not uncommon among these men. Many women as soon as it gets difficult just pull the pin instead of working it out, 78% of divorces are instigated by the woman. Why? She's the financial winner, also the emotional winner; she in most cases gets the . Guys see this gold digging and the emotional cost and walk away. It may be the beginning of the end of Western Civilization as we know it. We are going to be out bred. A very low percentage of men are actually Senior FriendFinder Yet many are accused of it, years later when it financially suited some woman. Sure there were some real cases, but plenty are not as well. What happens to the woman when it's proven false? Nothing! She should be thrown in jail for 10 years because if she had succeeded that guy's life would be ruined forever . What message are guys getting? Stay away from women; it's too dangerous to get involved. Milo Y, the one who was protested against at Berkeley in a clip quoted Senior FriendFinder statistics reported by Lesbian women against each other was 38%! I'm not saying there's no bad men out there, there are and should be dealt with, but there's a lot of bad women who just seem to go under the radar. Secondly the housing prices have been inflated so high that the woman has to work as well which contributes to the family falling apart, are farmed out to carers while the real mother has to work. When it's only one in a job and ends do not meet it can lead to real problems on agreeing where the money ought to be spent. I hear some ladies say, "You need a companion!" Like hell I do. "You'll die alone." Yes! I dont want anyone hovering over me when I'm dying, would drive me nuts. I prefer to go like the elephant to its graveyard, just lie down away from everyone, fade away, uninterrupted. That's death with dignity. My observation is that most single and a lot of married women have either emotional or money problems or both, I'm yet to find one that has not. I'm a man and finding more and more I'm helping many of them but I do so and back off when they are on their feet. How many have reciprocated or cared about me? Out of all of them I only know one who tries to and also genuinely cares I believe, but she is very fiery. She'll never make a good partner, she's a fighter, it's her way only, and men dont want that. She's had a very, very hard life, it's turned her into who she is, I feel sorry for her. I felt like I'd picked up a feral cat, doomed, trapped in a sewer, it was grateful, but instinct makes it lash out its claws at any perceived negative, even from the hand that helped her. I help others more than anyone has ever helped me. Why? Because I'm finally financially secure, it makes me feel good and having been 'through the divorce mill' can stand back and see many problems. Why am I financially secure? I'm single! Now it's my way or no way from now on, like my fiery friend. I'm in charge of my life and it's staying that way, if anyone doesnt like it they can get lost. Simple. I really enjoy being alone, it took a long while to get used to it, but now I dont think I want it any other way. The peace is therapeutic, I cant wait to get home after being out and just vedge. I also have my phone turned off at night, or when I want a nap, or when I dont feel like talking. It drives some people nuts when I do this and I dont care. As I said before, I'm in charge. I turn off the world at will. And you know what? It's great getting old.  Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there. |
|||
|
Bump Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
I know how you feel. I was perfectly content alone, but I wasn't lonely. I had coworkers and enjoyed their company, at work, even though most of them were younger than me and of totally different life styles ...... but I did not want the drama that often comes with relationships of all kinds. The only thing I lacked was having someone to go out to eat with me when none of my kids were available. I have a phobia about going places like that alone. But, it was no big deal. I worked really varied hours, and got on the computer for something to do after work. One day, an ad for SFF popped up and I looked into it. I loved the chat rooms! That's where I met this guy who had just moved about 30 miles or so from me. We chatted and I thought maybe I had found someone to go out to eat with me. It wasn't long before I knew I had found more than that. Up until then, I never thought I would want to get married again. My point is, you never know for sure what the future holds. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
| ||
|
I guess up until then, I was a female hermit...... in fact, my kids called me a hermit...... but would that be correct? Or would I have been a hermitess? lol. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
| ||
|
SFF has edited this. Where it says "Senior Friend Finder" it had said a word for an unwanted act of a sexual kind. I should have realised that even though the word was 'doctored' they still took it out. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
I guess up until then, I was a female hermit...... in fact, my kids called me a hermit...... but would that be correct? Or would I have been a hermitess? lol. Well we can never say never, that's true, life throws a curved ball now and then, but I'm not holding my breath and I think I'm too set in my ways to bother again. I suppose the word would be hermitess. A widow or even divorcee are quite acceptable words today, but spinster just doesnt sound so good. A bachelor in his 40's would be looked down upon many years ago, now it's normal. I prefer hermit, it describes the lifestyle. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
Part of this post has been censored. Where it doesnt quite make sense where they put the name of this site in my blog, you'll just have to figure out what was meant. I corrected it, but my correction was deleted also. Not sure if this one will be also. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
Hi ranger, yes we are in the divorced catagory. It used to have a negative stigma years ago, now no one cares except to ask how many times. lol Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
Hi ranger, yes we are in the divorced catagory. It used to have a negative stigma years ago, now no one cares except to ask how many times. lol All went well for a couple of weeks and he was asking about motels in my area because he would like to meet me in person and take me out to supper. A day or two later, he mentioned seeing his wife at a grandchild's birthday party. After he said wife a couple of times, I asked if he meant ex-wife. He explained that although they had been separated for almost 20 years, they never divorced. He said it is not an uncommon situation in the black community, which I knew was true from a black woman I knew. I was so surprised, I said I had to go.......... then I got mad. He was not single like his profile had said...... I sent him a letter and told him to never write or call me again because he was a liar and I could not tolerate liars! So, I can understand someone questioning marital status. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
| ||
|
Dan, you nailed it. My ex-wife was very beautiful but .... I wont ex bash much but she just wanted the bright lights & clubs. I think there's a lot of truth in having just an average looking woman who is true on the inside. You had a sucess story. Glad to hear it, thanks for sharing. Doesnt happen often. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
Also to make sure a man is free......... some seem to think that separated is single, but not to me. I met one man from another site, who lived about 400 miles away. I did not see it being any real relationship unless he moved to my area, but it was nice to have someone to talk to me in the evenings that I wasn't at work. All went well for a couple of weeks and he was asking about motels in my area because he would like to meet me in person and take me out to supper. A day or two later, he mentioned seeing his wife at a grandchild's birthday party. After he said wife a couple of times, I asked if he meant ex-wife. He explained that although they had been separated for almost 20 years, they never divorced. He said it is not an uncommon situation in the black community, which I knew was true from a black woman I knew. I was so surprised, I said I had to go.......... then I got mad. He was not single like his profile had said...... I sent him a letter and told him to never write or call me again because he was a liar and I could not tolerate liars! So, I can understand someone questioning marital status. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
It's kind of funny because others have 'doctored' words and they've got through. Didnt think it would be a problem, evidently they are checking more. The thing that makes me wonder though is if it's in a right or true context, why ban it? Makes it hard to put up a correct post about real issues. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
I agree with you there about a warm friendship, just going out to a dinner and having a friend is lovely. I tried a few times to do that but it seems after a while there's a real push for marriage, and dissapointment when it's refused. This happened a number of years ago, I wanted more time to get to know the 'dark side' of her as it was slowly emerging and she became impatient. She ended it. Word got back to me via the grapevine that she said I was a "Heartbreaker" to my friends. Some took her side without ever telling me and kept communication very short. I did not know why till I was told. I've had another lady propose to me twice. She is lovely, a widow but heavily dependant on someone doing everything for her. They do not believe it when I said I dont want to marry again, but to be honest if I think someone is really special I wont say it - unless the warning bells come. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
|
I agree about the bit where the man will be totally ignorant and be plodding along while the wife gets all her ammo stored for the big bang and then drops the main bomb. Later I'd found out a lot of her friends had consulted her on how to do it. All of these friends were divorced and telling her how great it was and how many boyfriends they were getting. She told me one time about how a couple of them were getting laid over and over again but it was more than 2 years later she pulled the pin. The stories must have took hold and she wanted more action. It destroyed the kids. Watching their pain was worse than dealing with my own. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
| ||
2/15/2017 10:21 am |
My ex started divorce proceeding because she was with child. I didn't care. Divorce seemed like an unnecessary legal hurdle.
|
×
×