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UNVARNISHED TRUTH 
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Laughing..... boy, isn't that the truth! But the older I get, the more I just want to live a peaceful life. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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Laughing..... boy, isn't that the truth! But the older I get, the more I just want to live a peaceful life. For instance, back in the day, you couldn't get birth-control until you were 18 without parental consent.....My younger sister was afraid to ask our mom, so I asked on her behalf and Mom buried me i a torrent of hysterical anger......I took it....again and again.....That thick skin has served me well....While I was still in high-school, I advocated for those who couldn't stand up for themselves.....Advocacy has been my life's work...... Now, I find myself in a position of being the one who needs advocacy and I'm having one hell of a time admitting vulnerability.
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We all have our own interpretation of "peace".......My mother, with a household of 8+, said the same thing.....she wanted " peace" at all costs......I found it excruciatingly boring and frustrating.....the pretending that no conflict exists where there is conflict.....I have always preferred an honest authentic discussion. I was a middle child chronologically and was always the family mediator....It's a role I just fell into. My siblings always asked me to intercede for them and when I did, my mother would take out her anger on me instead.....the family scape-goat. For instance, back in the day, you couldn't get birth-control until you were 18 without parental consent.....My younger sister was afraid to ask our mom, so I asked on her behalf and Mom buried me i a torrent of hysterical anger......I took it....again and again.....That thick skin has served me well....While I was still in high-school, I advocated for those who couldn't stand up for themselves.....Advocacy has been my life's work...... Now, I find myself in a position of being the one who needs advocacy and I'm having one hell of a time admitting vulnerability. I wonder if our parents thought peace was just everyone being quiet and never any arguments? I know my grandmother was that way, she just wanted everything in the household to run smoothly and for my grandfather to have a quiet place to unwind after work. I don't mind a discussion, but I don't need to get into a pecker measuring contest with anyone, and I'll walk away from arguments and name calling these days. My idea of peaceful days is to enjoy doing whatever Joe and I want to enjoy doing without a lot of stress. It seems we hear of a death of a friend or family too frequently these days...… we just had three in this past week, not counting Lisztomania. I'm working at taking each day at a time and trying to focus on how much does it really impact our daily lives. I can sure relate to your last statement. Having always been the caregiver, the advocate, the strong one that others turned to for help, I too am having a hell of a time admitting that I have vulnerabilities now. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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I thought about this a little more..... to me, peace is deciding what stress and conflict I will allow in my life. For instance..... Joe just lost his brother in law (second one in three months) and we are naturally grieving over it. His brothers and other sister are going to go visit that sister next week, and Joe would like to be there with them. Who knows if it would be the last time all 5 of them are together..... so, I'm trying to figure out the least stressful way of handling travel and mobility issues. That's a stress I can deal with. On the other hand, one of my daughters just called me and was going on and on about problems they are having with her stepson. I don't want to hear it. I find it's upsetting and stressful to listen to it, there is nothing I can do to change a bit of the situation because they themselves won't truly deal with it..... so I cut her short. That is the kind of stress I can do without.... not listening to all that makes my life a lot more peaceful. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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I thought about this a little more..... to me, peace is deciding what stress and conflict I will allow in my life. For instance..... Joe just lost his brother in law (second one in three months) and we are naturally grieving over it. His brothers and other sister are going to go visit that sister next week, and Joe would like to be there with them. Who knows if it would be the last time all 5 of them are together..... so, I'm trying to figure out the least stressful way of handling travel and mobility issues. That's a stress I can deal with. On the other hand, one of my daughters just called me and was going on and on about problems they are having with her stepson. I don't want to hear it. I find it's upsetting and stressful to listen to it, there is nothing I can do to change a bit of the situation because they themselves won't truly deal with it..... so I cut her short. That is the kind of stress I can do without.... not listening to all that makes my life a lot more peaceful.
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3/4/2020 8:54 pm |
In the past I always liked to talk business & how to get ahead in life. Most people I met liked to talk jobs, weekend entertainment & vacation. I had little in common with most of them. Now all I see or hear is religion politics & hate.
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In the past I always liked to talk business & how to get ahead in life. Most people I met liked to talk jobs, weekend entertainment & vacation. I had little in common with most of them. Now all I see or hear is religion politics & hate. When we would travel with Yellowduck and Linda, we spent many hours together, often visiting in each others rooms, and our conversations did not focus on religion, politics or talk about others we know in any hateful way. And neither was it the topics with others that we visited with on those trips. Nor was it in our multiple phone conversations during the weeks we weren't traveling. We laughed as we recounted memories of other fun times, and stories from our varied childhoods. We discussed personal problems and household problems and solutions. We miss him tremendously! But the same is true in other real life connections with people ..... those topics you mention are not the primary topics of conversation that we experience when we are out and about. Just here in the blogs and for some also in face book. I wonder if as people get older, their outside contacts and experiences become fewer and with a constant diet of cable or internet news, those things become dominant in their thoughts and if social media is their main contact with others, that's what comes out? Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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