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THE STRANGEST RELATIONHIP OF MY LIFE This is a story of the weirdest relationship I have ever had.......To be continued in the comment section to avoid the missing word thing....... |
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Ill call him Bill.......The first time I met him was at a Summer potluck/BBQ, backyard party at the home of a young couple and their twin girls who were about 3 years old. It was dark, all the food had been eaten.....The house was open for bathroom breaks and kitchen stuff.....There were only a few people left. The host and hostess were asking each other whose turn it was to check on the girls, who were in the house letting off steam before bed by tumbling on a king-size futon that was laid out on the floor for them....We could hear them laughing and screeching from the patio. I volunteered....As I approached the door of the room, I saw a man standing on his knees watching the girls, who had stripped naked in the hot night.....and were doing their twin gymnastics .......The man was so rapt watching them.....He didn't notice me watching him.......His face was flushed with lust. After that night, I watched him. He lived in an apartment over a coffee-shop where he worked as janitor and handyman.........across the street from an elementary school. The hair rose on the back of my neck and I watched him for 15 years, until he died. I watched him zoom in on vulnerable children and begin to "groom" them. I went to the police and asked them to look him up, did he have a record......they wouldn't give me any information. I knew the director of the Sexual Assault Centre in town and made an appointment. We looked through the book that lists pedophiles.......He wasn't there......not by his present name anyways. Then the grandmother of Bill's 4 year old neighbour was visiting from out of town w became suspicious of his keen interest in the child.....she told the mother, but she got very defensive and thought her mother-in-law was accusing her of being a bad mother........but granny went to the police and now they listened because she was a relative.....and she was told that there were several accusations in several towns, but no convictions...... Then I saw Bill grooming a 7 year old boy in his neighbourhood....the son of a single dad who relied on his older son to look after his brother after school until he got off work........I told the father, who was shocked, but then told me that he had wondered why Bill had suddenly started coming over and hanging out, ....always bringing a case of beer to assure his welcome........The dad thanked me for warning him. Then I went back to the Sexual Assault Centre and asked what I could do to keep the children safe and she said to watch him, just as I was doing and let him know that he's being watched. I told my neighbours that Bill was a pedophile and to pay attention.......Some people were very angry at me and said it was wrong to accuse someone of that without proof.....My answer always was which child gets to be the proof? Then I watched him groom the son of a friend ...another single parent...and I told her.....She immediately recognized the truth of the matter.....she was working as a barista in the same coffee shop. Bill had offered to help her with some yard work and had struck up a friendship with her young son......They even went on walks together in the forest on the pretext that Bill would teach him some forest-craft......... She had been thrilled that Bill gave her son attention, he needed some male energy in his life.......But when I told her Bill was a pedophile and about how they "groom" their prey, she researched it and then flipped out. She stormed the police station and demanded action.......How could they allow a pedophile to live across the street from an elementary school......in our neighbourhood......But the cops couldn't make a man's name public and warn us about it unless he had been convicted of a crime...........There were many other incidents, but now there were other watchers...... And so it went for over a decade........One day, I was in that coffee-shop and Bill came over to me and told me he had a growth on his knee and he was very afraid that it was Cancer.......My training as a First Aid attendant preceded me wherever I went........and I'm tearing up now, remembering Bill's fear as he sat down in front of me and pulled up his pant leg to reveal his pasty, hairy, bony knee and the tumour.......I was so revolted by that man that I felt like I might throw up.......... It was just a very large boil....He sighed with relief and I turned away, but he didn't get up and leave......he stayed in the chair and when I turned, he met my eyes.....probably for the first time in a decade and said "Thank You".......I thought it was thanks for looking at his tumour, but he said...."for taking care of me"......I said "what do you mean?" Bill looked deep into my eyes and said Thank you for watching me so I couldn't hurt the children. "He died alone from a drug overdose".........I was relieved when I heard.....I could finally stop watching.
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Wow Sparkle...What a story. Thank goodness for your watchful eyes. Fifteen years is a long time to watch someone. It was very brave of you to do that. There are a lot of sickos in our society now. Sometimes I watch mothers with their young children. I particularly get antsy and see mothers on their cell phones and see their young children running around and not paying attention to where they are. You never know who is lurking around and young children are so vulnerable.
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In my mind, you were a guardian angel for those kids.... and in a strange sort of way, for Bill also. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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Wow Sparkle...What a story. Thank goodness for your watchful eyes. Fifteen years is a long time to watch someone. It was very brave of you to do that. There are a lot of sickos in our society now. Sometimes I watch mothers with their young children. I particularly get antsy and see mothers on their cell phones and see their young children running around and not paying attention to where they are. You never know who is lurking around and young children are so vulnerable.
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You did good for the children and for Bill, no small feat.
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I don't think there are more sickos now then there were when we were children......it's just that we talk about it more openly now.......Back in the day it was treated like a shameful secret that no one mentioned.......I participated in healing groups for survivor of childhood sexual abuse for years......I've heard all the stories......and we mustn't forget the priests and coaches and doctors and uncles of a bygone era when the child who told was punished....... As kids we were warned to stay away from certain people.
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** I agree with you! As kids we were warned to stay away from certain people.
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I don't think there are more sickos now then there were when we were children......it's just that we talk about it more openly now.......Back in the day it was treated like a shameful secret that no one mentioned.......I participated in healing groups for survivor of childhood sexual abuse for years......I've heard all the stories......and we mustn't forget the priests and coaches and doctors and uncles of a bygone era when the child who told was punished....... Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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I don't think that is uncommon, especially if the abuser is the spouse of the mother. In those cases, she is often very intimidated and dependent upon him herself. I was molested by my stepdad from the time I was about 10 years old, until I was about 16 or 17, when I told him if he ever touched me again, I would kill him..... and I meant it. He was also a wife beater, and often told my mother that if she left him, he would kill her. She was terrified of him. Years later, after he died and she had remarried a really good man who treated her very well, she and I were in the heat of an argument when she yelled at me, "And I know how you seduced my husband! Oh yeah, he told me all about it." I was dumbfounded, and just said, very sarcastically, "Sure, Mom... like a 10 year old can seduce a grown man?" I walked away as she stood there, with tears in her eyes and looking like someone had just hit her between the eyes, as the truth sank in. We never discussed it again. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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AMAZING STORY, THANKS FOR SHARING. THE NEIGHBOR JUST THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LIFT WAS ARRESTED SEVERAL YEARS AGO FOR DOWNLOADING KIDDIE PORN ON HIS COMPUTER. HE WAS SENT TO JAIL FOR SIX MONTHS BUT RELEASED EARLY. THE WATCH ORG PHONE ME AND A LADY DOWN THE HALL TO ASK IF WE WANTED NOTICES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND WE BOTH SAID NO. THE MAN WORKS HARD AND HAS NEVER CAUSED ANY TROUBLE AGAIN AS FAR AS WE KNOW. I DO NOT REGRET MY DECISION BUT KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. AND THE FELLOW YOU WATCHED AND REPORTED KNEW IT TOO.
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That was one of the ploys the abuser often used to frighten the victim ..... don't tell your mother (or whoever), they will be mad at YOU. It is common that the mother sides with an abuser who is her partner......The reason I was thinking about my relationship with Bill, was that I just got a FB friend request from a girl I helped whose step-father was abusing her.......At the time, her mother told me that her 13 year-old daughter was trying to steal her husband......I got her out of there, but it was a very psychologically complex situation.......She was taken in by her grandparents .....that was a long time ago....she got pregnant at 18 and 20 and was abandoned by the father early on.....Her kids are now 22 and 24 and have left home....she is now looking after her very sick mother and she says they have become very close after being alienated for many years....... Once a mother and daughter both came to my group by mistake.....they didn't know the other had registered......A teenage girl who had accused her father of sexual harassment and years of ra*pe.........Turned out her mother knew, but was in denial because she didn't want to give up her luxurious life-style.......She screamed at her daughter that she had ruined their lives with her accusations.....Her father had lost his job as head of a company and they had to sell their home and cars.........The daughter was in foster-care and the parents in a small apartment with one cheap car........It was really ugly.....the mother blamed it all on the daughter.........The daughter was very stoic and determined...... There are so many cases......One case , a married woman in her 40's was contacted by a man in his 30's who claimed to be her son. This woman had no children.....had never wanted a child. ...DNA proved this man was really her son, though he was only 12 years younger than her. When she came to us, she had the facts.....finally, from her parents. Her father had impregnated her when she was 11 ....he didn't think she could get pregnant at that age.......The parents told her she had some rare disease and they had to take her to another city to get the medical care she needed......They took a family trip when she started to show and lived there until the baby was born.....She had been drugged for the birth and they whisked the baby away and pretended she had a nervous breakdown and her memories were part of her fantasy world...........
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