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Finding the key to happiness This is about something that recently happened to me and perhaps it has happened to you also. I am sure that you have had deaths in your family. A death in the family is a time when most folk are grieving the loss and sometimes things can get a little tense. This is part of the notice that was put in the obituary column for a recent member of my family. Arrangements for......................................Name with held Visitation Friday from 6-8 PM Service Saturday at 12:30pm at Funeral home name and address withheld Burial will be at ...............with held **The repast will also be held at funeral home and the family is asking for donations of food items for the repast. The part that irritated the heck out of me was that the family was asking for people to bring food for them to eat as though the person was a pauper or homeless person which they were not. When I read that notice I was furious and let everybody know it also.......my attitude was how dare they commit such a class less act............lol. Well after making a few phone calls I found out that it is customary in some circles to do that. It is not the way my family has done that in all the time of my life. We would furnish the food or the church where the repast was held would furnish the food. When I was able to calm myself down ..I thought.... I had let myself get upset because people had done something that I did not agree with. Which is not the key to happiness. The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be. Some folk ..me included.........bring a lot of pain in their lives because they cannot "Be as one with what is".........That is to allow another person to have a different view of a thing than they have and still be friends with them. I have found the key to happiness and my life is so much happier. I must add I am a work in progress though........lol. |
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I think I would be upset also at whoever put that into the notice. I also am used to the church hosting it to supply the food, or friends of the family doing it. I have seen things like, "In lieu of flowers, the family requests donation to ..........." And usually it is a charity relating to the person's illness, or a scholarship fund for a child of the deceased, or even a fund to help with the funeral costs. As for the rest of your blog? I totally agree. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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10/30/2018 4:12 pm |
I think I would be upset also at whoever put that into the notice. I also am used to the church hosting it to supply the food, or friends of the family doing it. I have seen things like, "In lieu of flowers, the family requests donation to ..........." And usually it is a charity relating to the person's illness, or a scholarship fund for a child of the deceased, or even a fund to help with the funeral costs. As for the rest of your blog? I totally agree.
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Yes, it would be rather unusual in my region to put that into a funeral notice. I often shake my head or mentally roll my eyes at some of the things I read or see, or hear, but....'It is what it is...' Hugsss~~~ 
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I have attended a few funerals in my time and have never come across the situation you describe, Bright. Though I have donated financially once or twice, I have never been asked to provide food for the attendees, and am unsure of what I would do if I was asked.
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10/30/2018 4:47 pm |
Yes, it would be rather unusual in my region to put that into a funeral notice. I often shake my head or mentally roll my eyes at some of the things I read or see, or hear, but....'It is what it is...' Hugsss~~~
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10/30/2018 4:56 pm |
I have attended a few funerals in my time and have never come across the situation you describe, Bright. Though I have donated financially once or twice, I have never been asked to provide food for the attendees, and am unsure of what I would do if I was asked.
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We had a large funeral about a year ago and the family was invited to our church Fellowship Hall for a meal our Women's Circle provided. We brought it and left and picked it up the dishes the next day. I believe it was a family member of one of our church members. The funeral was at another church but apparently didn't have a Fellowship Hall and our church offered to let them use ours. The family did not ask, it was offered.
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10/30/2018 5:59 pm |
Thanks for your response Abelle. That is done at my church in the fellowship hall also. I have worked with groups in churches when there is a need to feed a lot of folk also. I have never heard of this stuff that my family members are planning. I have been told that some folk do it that way and I am happy now that I have gotten rid of the anger and now I will just allow it to be as they wish. I will just add I will not be eating there though.......lol
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I attended the memorial for an old friend just last week. It was posted on several community facebook sites and word-of-mouth and it was potluck. We are a potluck community and it's the done thing in our area. The family did supply lots of very good food, but when an event is open invitation it is impossible to know how many people will be there......We are very good at it, having long practice.....and it's fun.....exchanging ideas and asking for recipes. I made an outstanding pumpkin pudding....it was sweetened with dark honey and the spices included lots of fresh ginger. I topped it with whipped cream and it was a big hit..........We love potlucks......even weddings are potluck......often we communicate before events and organize it loosely so there are a variety....not all desserts or salads for instance. Sometimes, instead of cooking, I will, for instance, bring excellent coffee and a variety of special creamers and be responsible for making coffee through the event. We have lots of potlucks....gatherings of all kinds....We even have a potluck supper at the elementary school once a month for kids and their families can get together......I've even been to weddings that are pot-luck.You want to throw someone a birthday party? Make it a potluck at the community hall or the picnic grounds in a park........Instant party. In the 50+ years I've been going to potlucks, I've never heard anyone attributing a sickness to the food.
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10/30/2018 6:47 pm |
Hello Joannita.........lollollol......you are too funny. I will check to see if one of them gets married to see if they ask folk to bring a cake and let you know.....lol...I needed a good laugh thanks. I will have to work on my reaction.....and remind myself to think first and see the situation as it is........and not as I want it to be. Its going to take some work but I will accomplish it because I feel better when I do.
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I attended the memorial for an old friend just last week. It was posted on several community facebook sites and word-of-mouth and it was potluck. We are a potluck community and it's the done thing in our area. The family did supply lots of very good food, but when an event is open invitation it is impossible to know how many people will be there......We are very good at it, having long practice.....and it's fun.....exchanging ideas and asking for recipes. I made an outstanding pumpkin pudding....it was sweetened with dark honey and the spices included lots of fresh ginger. I topped it with whipped cream and it was a big hit..........We love potlucks......even weddings are potluck......often we communicate before events and organize it loosely so there are a variety....not all desserts or salads for instance. Sometimes, instead of cooking, I will, for instance, bring excellent coffee and a variety of special creamers and be responsible for making coffee through the event. We have lots of potlucks....gatherings of all kinds....We even have a potluck supper at the elementary school once a month for kids and their families can get together......I've even been to weddings that are pot-luck.You want to throw someone a birthday party? Make it a potluck at the community hall or the picnic grounds in a park........Instant party. In the 50+ years I've been going to potlucks, I've never heard anyone attributing a sickness to the food. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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When Grumpy died, I rented a picnic shelter in the Greenbrier State Forest. I had a girlfriend who owned a flower shop and desperately needed the business so I bought of bunch of flowers and plants from her. My older son was amused because she gave me a hard time about an unsigned bank card. Wal-Mart donated another plant along with a meat and cheese tray. My boys and I had a picnic in the forest. They played some type of popper game while I danced in the rain. I didn't want black clothes or a bunch of wah wah wah's for Grumpy, I played Irish music along with some Mozart just to annoy him. I mailed his mortal remains to Kansas where his biological daughter drove him by motorcycle to Colorado. They caravanned to California for a family reunion and his remained went into the Pacific Ocean. I told him, I was going to dump him in the Greenbrier River and call it good. He replied, "Don't you dare!!!" I am sure he would get a kick of the fact that he was scattered in the Pacific Ocean ILLEGALLY!!! It was not a conventional send-off but it the right kind for him. Abracadabra 
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10/31/2018 8:01 am |
I attended the memorial for an old friend just last week. It was posted on several community facebook sites and word-of-mouth and it was potluck. We are a potluck community and it's the done thing in our area. The family did supply lots of very good food, but when an event is open invitation it is impossible to know how many people will be there......We are very good at it, having long practice.....and it's fun.....exchanging ideas and asking for recipes. I made an outstanding pumpkin pudding....it was sweetened with dark honey and the spices included lots of fresh ginger. I topped it with whipped cream and it was a big hit..........We love potlucks......even weddings are potluck......often we communicate before events and organize it loosely so there are a variety....not all desserts or salads for instance. Sometimes, instead of cooking, I will, for instance, bring excellent coffee and a variety of special creamers and be responsible for making coffee through the event. We have lots of potlucks....gatherings of all kinds....We even have a potluck supper at the elementary school once a month for kids and their families can get together......I've even been to weddings that are pot-luck.You want to throw someone a birthday party? Make it a potluck at the community hall or the picnic grounds in a park........Instant party. In the 50+ years I've been going to potlucks, I've never heard anyone attributing a sickness to the food. I understand now how some folk can be so resistant to change and when I come across someone like that I will remember my reaction to this funeral.
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10/31/2018 8:13 am |
Hello Rubi.......Thank you for your response. We normally would take food to the house or rent a space and have the food catered but most times the church will have the food prepared and serve it in the churches dining hall. This will be different in that the service will be in the funeral home and the funeral home has a repast room where they will serve food. This is the building where they also embalm and do cremations,.........lol I added that part because it seems a little creepy to me. These funeral homes are changing with the times and they have everything now to take advantage of folk who are grieving to get their money which is what I think happened in this case.
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10/31/2018 8:24 am |
When Grumpy died, I rented a picnic shelter in the Greenbrier State Forest. I had a girlfriend who owned a flower shop and desperately needed the business so I bought of bunch of flowers and plants from her. My older son was amused because she gave me a hard time about an unsigned bank card. Wal-Mart donated another plant along with a meat and cheese tray. My boys and I had a picnic in the forest. They played some type of popper game while I danced in the rain. I didn't want black clothes or a bunch of wah wah wah's for Grumpy, I played Irish music along with some Mozart just to annoy him. I mailed his mortal remains to Kansas where his biological daughter drove him by motorcycle to Colorado. They caravanned to California for a family reunion and his remained went into the Pacific Ocean. I told him, I was going to dump him in the Greenbrier River and call it good. He replied, "Don't you dare!!!" I am sure he would get a kick of the fact that he was scattered in the Pacific Ocean ILLEGALLY!!! It was not a conventional send-off but it the right kind for him.
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10/31/2018 8:30 am |
Hello ET....Thanks for your response. We do it in almost the same way. These folk decided to do something different and that is ok with me now.....lol. Yesterday was a different story......lollol
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