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WellKnownAuthor 62M
posts
11/16/2018 6:04 am
A HONEST TO GOD REAL TALKING DOG FOR SALE SUPER CHEAP!

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight running...

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a Bullshitter . He's never been out of the yard'


Dan M. circa 2016!~
( taken from my vast collection of online blog archieves)


WellKnownAuthor 62M
341 posts
11/16/2018 6:30 am

Yes dog ownership is a wonderful thing for us seniors.

They greet you at the door in an excited state of pure joy.

They never find fault in you.


WellKnownAuthor 62M
341 posts
11/16/2018 6:34 am

They protect you at all times and always follow and not lead!

They ask for very little outside of water in their dish and to be fed in moderation.

They show you how wonderful your cooked beef, pork chicken or fish smells to them.

They proudly go for walks and share mother natures creations with you.


WellKnownAuthor 62M
341 posts
11/16/2018 6:38 am

They are totally loyal and devoted to you.

They offer constant around the clock companionship and respect your actions without question.

To many of us living without partners or family.

they are our children and 100% deserve to be spoiled for the love they give us.


Maisie2013 67F
18828 posts
11/16/2018 8:01 am

Dogs greet you at the door. Cats wake up from their 20 hour nap, glance at their watch, and ask " You here already ? Go fill my dish. "

Sad Cat diary and sad dog diary are some of the funniest videos ever.


Rocketship 74F
15013 posts
11/16/2018 1:46 pm

This is one of my all time favourites~~ LOLOL


WellKnownAuthor 62M
341 posts
11/16/2018 5:57 pm

    Quoting Rocketship:
    This is one of my all time favourites~~ LOLOL
Rocket have you run across George Carlin's skit on Dogs verses Cat?

While comic in nature as he intended for effect. Many valid points are made about the difference of the two species.

In turn having owned both dogs and cats, many of the same redeeming values are brought to us by the both of them.

The biggest differences are that Cats are an totally independent animal except for prides of lions. Solitary hunters using stealth and cunning in hunting prey.

While domesticated cats are well fed by humans, their very strong instincts as a preditor have not been replaced by domestication..

Dogs on the other hand are pack animals with a pecking order of rank. They need a pack leader and you as theirr owner are acceptedd in that roll.

Thus they can be trained to behave and respond to simple commands and demands by you.

Cats remain cats. We must remember that all animals rely upon using their deep breed instincts!

Its such a shame that dog breeders are ruining most of the well over 100 different breeds of k-9's with inbreeding. Puppy mills, bogus aka paperwork for profit.


WellKnownAuthor 62M
341 posts
11/16/2018 6:03 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    Dogs are Human's love-slaves. Thousands of years of Humans breeding dogs for the traits that best serve the insatiable Human longing for unconditional love and unquestioning loyalty........Dogs allow Humans freedom from the need for demanding relationships with other Humans......Instead, you can just buy the dog that suits your needs.........Love slaves for the emotionally lazy.
I sometimes clearly see exactly what your commenting on.

We as humans all share the common need for things to replace voids.

Yes the term love slaves is a new one to me but makes perfect sense!

Protection, companionship, bonded submission by association

Faith fullness, loyalty all comprise that thing called

TOTAL BONDING which cats fall a little short on.


sportsbuffHal 61M
81 posts
12/6/2018 6:49 am

When i asked my dog where Santa lands. he answered

ROOF


sportsbuffHal 61M
81 posts
12/6/2018 6:51 am

You got that right Rocket!


sportsbuffHal 61M
81 posts
12/6/2018 6:51 am

3You got that right Rocket!


sportsbuffHal 61M
81 posts
12/6/2018 6:52 am

You got that right Rocket!6


sportsbuffHal 61M
81 posts
12/6/2018 7:02 am

8 You got that right Rocket!


WellKnownAuthor 62M
341 posts
12/7/2018 3:05 pm

yes dogs are great maisie


Rudyk9dad 57M
51 posts
12/8/2018 7:43 am

too freaken funny! lmfao