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Secondwave1 68M
101 posts
5/3/2019 7:03 am
Distance...Argh!


I'm sure this has been discussed repeatedly and to ad nauseum, but I'm still relatively new here so perhaps all will give me some leeway.

This is a global site. There are wonderful folks from all over the world that are fun to chat with and share thoughts and ideas. Or perhaps someone to enjoy some more risque flirtation with.

But distance is an issue. At least for me. Aside from gentle word play with these nascent acquaintances, the prospect of a real friendship or relationship does not seem to be a likely event. Not saying that it doesn't happen, but the seeds of lasting intimate relationships take time to germinate and grow. They need to be nurtured and fed and coddled. With heaps of reciprocity.

So, although it's nice to get the interest of another potentially wonderful person, in my case a woman, I just don't know what to do when the prospect of seeing each other requires some herculean effort just for your first face to face. It takes time for people, friends, lovers, acquaintances to really get to know each other. Slowly revealing the inner tickings that make each of us who we are and discovering the similarities and differences in others. And that's the interesting part, because sometimes things get stronger and sometime they just fade back to nothingness

As always, I hope I didn't offend anyone. And perhaps others can add their thoughts to this conundrum!

Secondwave1 68M

5/3/2019 7:03 am

One more thing. Happy Friday!


MrsJoe 76F
17308 posts
5/3/2019 10:10 am

You are preaching to the choir here! In my case, I was really blessed because before I met him in the chat room, Joe had just relocated to about 40 miles from me.
Others here, who have found their special one had more of a distance challenge, some were hundreds of miles, and others were thousands of miles, but I guess love finds a way.
Then there is also the question of, if a relationship becomes solid and folks want to live together, where will that be? In my case, I was not willing to leave my home of decades. Joe was more mobile, so that problem was solved. For others, it might not be so easy and may even be a deal breaker.
And even for just friends that we have met..... distance is a pain in the butt, even more so as we all get older and less likely to travel.



Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.


Abelle2 83F
31211 posts
5/3/2019 11:06 am

Hawkslayer and I met through SFF. I lived in Indiana, he lived in Georgia. I moved here when I learned it rarely snowed here and ice is a rarity. I also had never been to the south. We lived together several years and eventually married almost 3 years ago, in our backyard with a few of our neighbors and my daughter and son-in law who surprised us by coming.

I love living here.....


Secondwave1 68M

5/3/2019 12:03 pm

Great stories and insights!. Thank you for sharing.


Secondwave1 68M

5/3/2019 1:32 pm

Wow earthytaurus, that's a crazy story. Hopefully have had better success in your subsequent adventures. Your advice resonates with me. In the world of real, close proximity is, unfortunately because there are many wonderful people out there, a key factor in actually trying to make the effort for getting two real eager smiling faces together. Keeps the effort balanced with the potential.


Rentier2 79M
950 posts
5/3/2019 4:50 pm

Distance would not be an issue for me since I have the resources to go anywhere I like.