Dirty and low down-------------
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Posted:Sep 30, 2006 3:15 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2006 4:56 pm 1050 Views
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Priests accused in $8 million church theft
By Jim Loney
Sat Sep 30, 9:07 AM ET
Two Roman Catholic priests allegedly misappropriated more than $8 million from their church and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on real estate, travel, rare coins and girlfriends, police in Florida said on Friday.
The retired priests were accused of skimming cash from collection plates and bequests to the St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Florida, over a period of years and channeling the money into secret "slush funds" they used to pay personal bills, Delray Beach police said.
Former St. Vincent pastor John Skehan, 79, was arrested on a charge of grand theft over $100,000 and was being held in the Palm Beach County jail on a $400,000 bond.
A warrant was issued for the arrest of Father Francis Guinan, 63, on the same charge. He was on a cruise in Australia but had contacted the police, the Palm Beach Post reported.
"We believe that our investigation has shown that the two allegedly have misappropriated more than $8 million and have used it for personal use or for other purchases," said Paige Patterson-Hughes, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.
"Some of the things we believe were allegedly purchased included real estate, coins and travel," she said.
According to a police affidavit, Skehan invested heavily in rare coins, once buying $275,000 worth in a single day. He owned a cottage and a pub in Ireland, a penthouse condo worth $455,000 in Singer Island, Florida, and another condo in Delray Beach, the document said.
The thefts took took place over a period of years when Skehan served as St. Vincent parish priest and continued when Guinan took over as pastor three years ago, police said.
Some of the misappropriated funds may have benefited the church, Delray Beach police spokesman Jeff Messer said.
"They were skimming cash out of the offering plates and other donations that came into the church," he said. "They were spending some on church projects and they were spending a lot on themselves, for vacations, buying properties, gambling trips to Las Vegas and the Bahamas, and alleged girlfriends."
"We can prove several hundred thousand has been spent on personal use by each of them. They may have done some good for the church," Messer said, adding that a church audit covered more than four decades that Skehan served at the church.
A lawyer for Skehan was not immediately available for comment.
LAVISH LIFESTYLE
The Diocese of Palm Beach said it started investigating allegations of missing funds around April of 2005, about a month before police launched their own probe following an anonymous tip.
A forensic accounting firm hired by the Diocese found that $8,690,593 was misappropriated during the tenures of Skehan and Guinan, the police affidavit said.
It said a female bookkeeper at a Palm Beach County church with whom Guinan allegedly had an "intimate" relationship received $47,000 from the slush funds in 2004.
A witness cited in the document characterized Guinan as a "gambler and heavy drinker."
"She recalled Guinan taking vacations to Las Vegas and the Bahamas ... she began to wonder how Guinan could afford to live what she called a lavish lifestyle on a priest's salary," the affidavit said.
The affidavit quoted as witness saying Skehan paid a girlfriend under the table and paid off a car loan for her with money from the church.
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True or False??
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Posted:Sep 29, 2006 3:35 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2006 9:31 am 1446 Views
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One For The Ladies
A recent study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
When a woman is ovulating, for example, she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes, and a chain saw shoved up his arse.  
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Defining Your Authentic Self
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Posted:Sep 27, 2006 8:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2006 3:37 am 1017 Views
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Defining Your Authentic Self
By Dr. Phil
Are you living a life that is more in tune with your "authentic" self (who you were created to be) or your "fictional" self (who the world has told you to be)?
You probably weren't even aware that these versions of your "self" existed! Dr. Phil explains the difference between the authentic and fictional self:
Authentic Self
When you're asked, "Who are you?" what is your answer? "I'm a mom." "I'm a doctor." "I live in Ohio." Often the answer is not who you are, but what you do, what your social station is, or how you see your function in life. You can't answer who you are, because you don't know.
There is another level of existence that is the real, true, genuine substance of who you are. It's what Dr. Phil defines as the authentic self.
The authentic self is the you that can be found at your absolute core. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function or role. It is the composite of all your skills, talents and wisdom. It is all of the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you believe you are supposed to be and do.
Fictional Self
When you're not living faithfully to your authentic self, you find yourself feeling incomplete, as if there is a hole in your soul. You may have found that it's easier to fill the roles your family and friends expect of you, rather than becoming who you really want to be. Living this way drains you of the critical life energy you need to pursue the things you truly value.
When you live a life that has you ignoring your true gifts and talents while performing assigned or inherited roles instead, you are living as your fictional self.
The fictional self sends you false information about who you are and what you should be doing with your life. It blocks the information you need in order to maintain the connection with your authentic identity. Relying on information from the fictional self means you're putting your trust in a broken compass.
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Dr. Phil .......or Jay Leno?
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Posted:Sep 27, 2006 5:16 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2006 12:13 pm 1393 Views
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Happiness: A Right or a Privilege?
Jay Leno explains to Dr. Phil that he believes happiness is a privilege, not a right. "I know a lot of people are depressed because they think they're supposed to be happy all the time. But happiness is an occasional thing," says Leno. "I think if you're happy all the time, then you're never really happy. It should be something you look forward to."
He asks Dr. Phil: "Do you think happiness a right or a privilege?"
Dr. Phil says it's neither! He believes that happiness is a choice, and suggests you expand your definition of happiness. Sometimes we think happiness means giggling and having fun. But don't you also feel happy when you've had a good day's work and feel a sense of accomplishment? Happiness can be a feeling that comes from filling your days with what matters to you, living authentically, or working for what you want.
********** what do you think?
more about happiness to come....
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Sumpin'
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Posted:Sep 26, 2006 12:38 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2006 2:53 am 1084 Views
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Windows 2006
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
This is an important message from Microsoft regarding Windows 2006.
Howdy
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2006 Southern EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the south.
If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The Southern EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2006, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as " 4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, " Duct Tape" pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN Southern EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset.............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find...............hunt fer it
Go to............over yonder
! Back...............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... .stuff ah done did
Also note that the Southern EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2006:
Tiperiter............a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen...........calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net....................Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers a ! graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the Southern EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this helps all y'all!
BillyBob
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Lets make a deal......
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Posted:Sep 21, 2006 2:14 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2006 1:07 pm 1100 Views
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Humor adult topic
On The Golf Course
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom ... HaHa! I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her ... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?" asked the hitman.
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, and just a , so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the irate husband impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "She's kneeling down in front him ... I think I can save you a grand here..."
[[[[[[Oh my..........Do ya
think he was a crack shot?]]]]
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The Three Conditions
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Posted:Sep 20, 2006 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2006 2:15 am 1091 Views
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Humor
The Three Conditions
Melbourne Zoo in Australia had acquired a female gorilla of a very rare species. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Kevin, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Kevin, like most Kiwi men, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
Kevin was approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to have \bsexo?\b with the gorilla for $500?
Kevin showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Kevin announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tull anyone about this."
The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what his third condition was.
"Well," said Kevin, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."
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Man Forced To Marry ... A Goat??
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Posted:Sep 20, 2006 9:00 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2006 7:09 pm 1160 Views
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Man Forced To Marry ... A Goat??
HAI MALAKAL, Sudan -- In year's past, it was not uncommon in some parts of the U.S. for a man to be forced to marry a woman if he was caught having \bsexo?\b with her. These became known as shotgun weddings because they usually occurred with bride and groom standing at the altar with the bride's father standing behind the groom with a shotgun.
Sudan has taken this concept a step further ... further backwards, that is.
According to the Juba Post newspaper, a Mr. Alifi, of Hai Malakal, Sudan, owned a goat. About midnight he heard a loud noise and rushed outside to find a Mr. Tombe with his goat, as in having \bsexo?\b with it.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up," said Alifi.
Alifi then took Tombe to the local council of elders, who told Alifi not to take him to the police. The council then ordered Tombe to pay Alifi a dowry of 15,000 Sudenese dinars (about $70) AND to marry the goat, according to a report by BBC News.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," said Alifi.
My note: I hope they don't have any ""
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Man Has Tongue Made From buttocks?
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Posted:Sep 20, 2006 8:18 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2006 7:13 pm 1465 Views
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Man Has Tongue Made From buttocks?
GLIWICE, Poland -- A Polish man who had his tongue removed has had a new one made using tissue taken from his buttocks.
The 23-year-old man, from Gliwice, now has a functioning tongue made from his backside after surgery at the Oncology Clinic in Gliwice's General Hospital. Head doctor Stanislaw Poltorek said: "The new tongue is alive and well-supplied with blood, and the patient is doing well."
The man's tongue was removed after he was diagnosed with cancer.
"We removed the tumor-filled tongue, checking that there were no remaining cancerous cells around the patient's mouth, then collected skin, fat and nerve tissue from the man's buttocks and modelled that into a new tongue, which we sewed into his mouth.," explained Dr. Poltorek.
-- Well, this is going to give a whole new meaning to the phrase "tongue in cheek", Voyeurwebbers. Only now it's will be "cheek in tongue", hehehe! On a less levitous side, it is very good that the medical staff at Gliwice's hospital had the know-how and the technology to perform this operation, and that the patient should fully recover. --
Hummmmmmmm?
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penis Transplant Removed After Two Weeks
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Posted:Sep 20, 2006 2:39 am
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2008 8:43 am 1086 Views
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penis Transplant Removed After Two Weeks
Email this Story
Sep 19, 8:59 PM (ET)
By MARILYNN MARCHIONE
Chinese doctors say they successfully transplanted a penis on a man who lost his own in an accident, but had to remove it two weeks later because of psychological problems experienced by the man and his wife.
The case appears to be the first such transplant reported in a medical journal - European Urology, published by the European Association of Urology.
The Chinese doctors could not be reached for comment, and their report does not explain how the 44-year-old man lost his penis. It says only that "an unfortunate traumatic accident" left him with a small stump, unable to urinate or have \bsexo?\b normally.
Surgeons led by Dr. Hu Weilie at Guangzhou General Hospital performed the transplant in September 2005, a hospital spokesperson said Tuesday. The penis came from a 22-year-old brain-dead man whose parents agreed to donate his organ.
"There was a strong demand from both the patient and his wife" for a transplant, and the operation "was discussed again and again" and approved by the hospital's ethics committee, Hu writes in the journal.
Despite how shocking and radical the operation sounds, it involves standard microsurgery techniques to reconnect blood vessels and nerves.
From a medical point of view, "the main hurdle is the functional recovery," said Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee, chief of plastic surgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
From arm and leg reattachments, it's known that nerve regrowth occurs at a rate of about an inch a month and often is insufficient to allow normal use, he said.
However, the ethical and psychological challenges in such cases can be even more paramount, as this and other recent transplants involving hands and faces illustrate.
"Some of the considerations for a penile transplant are the same as for a hand or face transplant," such as the need to take lifelong immune-suppressing drugs to prevent rejection of the new organ, Lee said.
The drugs can cause kidney and other damage, acceptable risks when the transplant involves a vital organ such as a liver or heart, but more ethically perilous when the operation is aimed at improving quality of life rather than extending it, Dr. Yoram Vardi, a neurology and urology specialist at the Rambam Medical Center in Haifa, Israel, writes in an accompanying commentary in the urology journal.
Psychological issues are keenly important. The world's first hand transplant recipient stopped taking immune suppression drugs and later requested that the hand be amputated.
Lee recalled speaking with the recipient of the world's first double-hand transplant in France, who told him it took months for him to accept his new hands and stop referring to one as "it."
Fourteen days after the penis transplant, the recipient and his wife requested that the organ be removed "because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis," the surgeons report in the journal.
Lab examination showed no sign of rejection, the doctors report.
If adequate attention had been paid to the need for counseling and other psychological concerns surrounding the transplant, "the need for penile amputation could probably have been avoided," Vardi wrote in his commentary.
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