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Fun to do in elevators 11/6/2019
Fun Things to Do in an Elevator <br><br>
1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. <br><br>
<br><br>
2.Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex
to other passengers. <br><br>
<br><br>
3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" ...
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Bad to say at funerals 11/6/2019
Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral <br><br>
1.Geez, what died in here? <br><br>
<br><br>
2.He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
<br><br>
<br><br>
3.Nice service...where's the keg? <br><br>
<br><br>
4.When did he die...really...hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
<br><br> ...
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
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Television from Iraq 11/6/2019
Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq <br><br>
1."Husseinfeld" <br><br>
<br><br>
2."Mad About Everything" <br><br>
<br><br>
3."U.S. Military Secrets Revealed" <br><br>
<br><br>
4."Suddenly Sanctions" <br><br>
<br><br>
5."Allah McBeal" ...
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
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Forgive us our trespassing 10/4/2019
On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager
addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules:
<br><br>
"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds
for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody
caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
<br><br>
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this ...
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Everything happens for a reason 2/20/2019
Don't blame yourself for the breakup, unless you really
fucked things up bad. If you did fuck up, forgive yourself.
If the other person wasn't able to forgive you, may
you will be able to. We really do make mistakes. Learn from
it, and don't keep beating yourself up over it.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Break up for a reason 2/16/2019
Its better to always tell the truth. In relationship without
love, respect and honesty it will land no where. A relationship
full of lies is relationship with no future and is better
to break such relationship up.
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
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Over What 12/17/2017
A Jewish says to her mother, "I'm divorcing
Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My puss is now
the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of
a nickel.” Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire
businessman! You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive
a $250, 000 Ferrari! You get $2, 000 a week allowance!
You take 6 vacations a year and ...
1 Comments, 13 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Lim-Lick 12/16/2017
There was a young student called Jones, Who'd reduce
any maiden to moans, By his wonderful knowledge, Acquired
in college, Of nineteen erogenous zones.
1 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
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Go Figure 12/4/2017
♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because
nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard,
Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou,
Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married
person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Sad to say 11/26/2017
Let me tell you friends that one simple spelling mistake--even
a typo--can make your life hell. I recently penned a short,
romantic note to my wife while I was away on a fishing trip,
and I missed one small "e". No problem you might
think. Not so. This tiny error has caused me to seek Police
protection to enter my own house. This is what I wrote – "Hi darling, I'm enjoying ...
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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What 11/21/2017
Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their
boyfriends when the first one says: "My boyfriend
said he fantasized about having two girls at once."
The other replies, "Yeah, most men do. What did you
tell him?" I said, "If you can't satisfy
one woman, why would you want to piss off two? ....................................
<br><br>
At least she ...
1 Comments, 6 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Long Italian Funeral 6/24/2016
ITALIAN FUNERAL A Jewish man was leaving a convenience
store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian
funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about
50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was
a solitary Italian man walking a on a leash. Behind him,
a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in ...
1 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Colors in Nature 3/9/2015
Artists seem to have an inate ability to tap into the colors
of nature and reproduce, through different art forms,
the beauty which exists. My youngest has this ability and
strums through life on a different wave length, in this
different special way, from the rest of us. She told me once,
that she felt so different from her playmates, until I explained
to her about how I viewed her. I ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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The thing about ending a relationship is that you have to go on... 7/19/2012
An' here I go again on my own Goin' down the only road I've ever known, Like a drifter I was born to walk alone An' I've made up my mind I ain't wasting no more time. (Whitesnake)
0 Comments, 22 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Charmin with lotion! 6/17/2008
Bubba and Earl, two rednecks from Tennessee, were in
a local Wal-Mart, and they decided to get in on the weekly
charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar
a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had
won a prize. Earl won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet
extra-long spaghetti and sauce. Bubba won 6th prize, a
toilet brush.
About a week or ...
3 Comments, 86 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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A better Woman for Veep 6/6/2008
The latest buzz is about Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin.
A fiesty republican, she took on the old school republins
in her state, and railed against ear marks like the "Bridge
to Nowhere", she stood up against oppostion and supports
the drilling of oil, and exposed the scare tactics of those
"geenies" that want to talk of a possibility
of a danger to Polar bears, where there is none.
She ...
0 Comments, 35 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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fsdfaaf 3/7/2007
testtest
0 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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test 3/7/2007
test test test
1 Comments, 20 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Retired Executives dream. . . . . .joke 3/1/2007
A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided
to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise
and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until
the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day
when ...
2 Comments, 123 Views,
17 Votes
,5.81 Score
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Letter From a Broken-Heart 9/28/2006
Dear Ex-Love,
I just realized that I would never be able to embrace you
the same way as before, and my eyes will no longer be beautiful
because your reflection there has gone astray. I should
be thankful if this were the only sense of loss that I feel,
but there is something more that pierces my heart, something
much deeper that I cannot even begin to describe. As I type
this ...
1 Comments, 140 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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Dancing Naked in the Rain 7/31/2006
I reached out and took your hand
Be still, my heart, this love is grand!
The words, my love, so escape me
Read my heart whene'er you take me
My life, my love, my passionate soul
Are yours indeed without control
This love is freeing, not confining
Tis easy to see the silver lining
Each cloud now pregnant with ...
2 Comments, 79 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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A Letter to Julie 6/14/2006
Julie is blonde-haired, blue-eyed and scatterbrained;
she's in her 40s and is a nurse in the intensive care
dept. at one of the major hospitals and teaching centres
here in Georgia. The man met her when he was in there for surgery
about four years ago; they became very good friends and
have been so ever since.
A few years ago her father died, she then decided to adopt
the man as a ...
3 Comments, 238 Views,
13 Votes
,6.83 Score
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Where you see valid achievements or virtue being attacked,....... 5/30/2006
Where you see valid achievements
or virtue being attacked, it's by someone viewing
them as a mirror of their own inadequacy instead of an inspiring
beacon for excellence.”
He who seeks vengeance must dig two graves: one for his enemy
and one for himself”
Chinese Proverbs quotes
[COLOR ...
1 Comments, 82 Views,
25 Votes
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There is a theory 5/21/2006
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody
discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is
here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something
even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory
which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS ...
0 Comments, 65 Views,
22 Votes
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What's the scoop??? 3/25/2006
If a woman decides that she wants to end a relationship why
doesn't she just say so, with or without any reasons
given?
I have been told by some that the reason that they are not
"direct" is that they do not want to hurt anyone.
Does anyone actually believe that it it less painful to
leave a person wondering or trying to guess "what
went wrong"?
I have been told by some ...
1 Comments, 221 Views,
14 Votes
,5.70 Score
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Frustration ! 12/27/2005
I have not written an article in this magazine since August.
At that time I discovered the blog section and have taken
up full time residence there since. I came here tonight
to read an article by Jkh54 that was highly recommended
to me. I read the article and I thought it was excellent.
But when I tried to post a comment ? AGh, Grrrr, It just wouldn't
go thru. I've had that experience here ...
2 Comments, 267 Views,
19 Votes
,4.84 Score
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:( :( :( A Virtual Broken Heart :( :( :( 10/15/2005
If you meet a man in cyber space
And within less than a month almost fall in love,
But have never seen him face to face,
But "talked and talked"
(even if only via e-mail),
Yet never have so much as shared a hug,
You can't wait until the next revelation,
Breathless with anticipation,
Then when opened, it is expressed,
Sweetie, I think we better take a rest!
Does a ...
1 Comments, 199 Views,
21 Votes
,5.72 Score
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Why I Broke Up With You, And By The Way, Happy Birthday! 8/7/2005
The following is the actual letter that I sent my ex-boyfriend
explaining why I broke up with him and also to wish him a happy
41st Birthday. I have Blocked out our names.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 26, 2005
<br>
Dear XXXX,
I decided to write a letter for your birthday instead of
sending a card.
There are a few things that I would like to say to you.
I ...
1 Comments, 286 Views,
26 Votes
,4.86 Score
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Widow Breaks Up With Younger BoyFriend:Finds Puppy 8/5/2005
I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago after 14 years of marriage.
He was 90 and I was then 59! He had been a semi-invalid and
on
oxygen for about 3 years.
We hired a neighbor who was 39 help us with the yard work,
etc.
When my husband died, I had to move within three months,
as we did not own the house.
The neighbor helped me move and get settled. One thing led
to another.
We ...
0 Comments, 140 Views,
14 Votes
,4.10 Score
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Come on strong and stop fast 12/1/2004
What is it about men that, they can't waite to get personal
and find out how much we girls like sex. Then we give in thinking
that we are really desired and have a good relationship
in the making. So we finally give in to touching or more and
they enjoy the time greatly. Then you never hear from them
again.
Or even back down on what they say they are looking for. "It
is too soon after ...
0 Comments, 190 Views,
32 Votes
,5.02 Score
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Response to: Why senior men seek younger women? 10/31/2004
Frankly speaking: The women within my age bracket are all
used up and can’t or won’t participate in many of the activities
of my lifestyle.
I have to strongly disagree with “57 and fine” on this one.
I have no problem standing toe to toe intellectually with
women my age. Nor do I find that the younger women are intellectually
inadequate. Quite the contrary my ...
4 Comments, 345 Views,
71 Votes
,1.82 Score
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Why No Reason, response 7/16/2004
We are Mature Adults here, not teenagers. So why is it so
hard to tell a person, “Hey, it was nice, but you just
are not what I am looking for in a mate. I am sorry I did not
intend to lead you on, but after considering my needs, I
realized, that it would be fair to both of us if we just remain
friends, and see other people who may be a better match for
each of us.”
...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
78 Votes
,9.00 Score
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