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DarkHorse5 49 M
20  Articles
Fun to do in elevators   11/6/2019

Fun Things to Do in an Elevator <br><br> 1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. <br><br> <br><br> 2.Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. <br><br> <br><br> 3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" ...

0 Comments, 1 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
DarkHorse5 49 M
20  Articles
Bad to say at funerals   11/6/2019

Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral <br><br> 1.Geez, what died in here? <br><br> <br><br> 2.He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress. <br><br> <br><br> 3.Nice service...where's the keg? <br><br> <br><br> 4.When did he die...really...hey Bob, you won the pool!!! <br><br> ...

0 Comments, 0 Views, 0 Votes
DarkHorse5 49 M
20  Articles
Television from Iraq   11/6/2019

Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq <br><br> 1."Husseinfeld" <br><br> <br><br> 2."Mad About Everything" <br><br> <br><br> 3."U.S. Military Secrets Revealed" <br><br> <br><br> 4."Suddenly Sanctions" <br><br> <br><br> 5."Allah McBeal" ...

0 Comments, 0 Views, 0 Votes
AngloSwiss_CH 72 M
6  Articles
Forgive us our trespassing   10/4/2019

On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules: <br><br> "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." <br><br> He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this ...

0 Comments, 4 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Inercurate3 30 F
3  Articles
Everything happens for a reason   2/20/2019

Don't blame yourself for the breakup, unless you really fucked things up bad. If you did fuck up, forgive yourself. If the other person wasn't able to forgive you, may you will be able to. We really do make mistakes. Learn from it, and don't keep beating yourself up over it.

0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Inercurate3 30 F
3  Articles
Break up for a reason   2/16/2019

Its better to always tell the truth. In relationship without love, respect and honesty it will land no where. A relationship full of lies is relationship with no future and is better to break such relationship up.

0 Comments, 0 Views, 0 Votes
NewOrleansOlStud 71 M
91  Articles
Over What   12/17/2017

A Jewish says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My puss is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a nickel.” Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman! You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive a $250, 000 Ferrari! You get $2, 000 a week allowance! You take 6 vacations a year and ...

1 Comments, 13 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
NewOrleansOlStud 71 M
91  Articles
Lim-Lick   12/16/2017

There was a young student called Jones, Who'd reduce any maiden to moans, By his wonderful knowledge, Acquired in college, Of nineteen erogenous zones.

1 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
NewOrleansOlStud 71 M
91  Articles
Go Figure   12/4/2017

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

0 Comments, 1 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
NewOrleansOlStud 71 M
91  Articles
Sad to say   11/26/2017

Let me tell you friends that one simple spelling mistake--even a typo--can make your life hell. I recently penned a short, romantic note to my wife while I was away on a fishing trip, and I missed one small "e". No problem you might think. Not so. This tiny error has caused me to seek Police protection to enter my own house. This is what I wrote – "Hi darling, I'm enjoying ...

0 Comments, 5 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
NewOrleansOlStud 71 M
91  Articles
What   11/21/2017

Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their boyfriends when the first one says: "My boyfriend said he fantasized about having two girls at once." The other replies, "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?" I said, "If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two? .................................... <br><br> At least she ...

1 Comments, 6 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
NewOrleansOlStud 71 M
91  Articles
Long Italian Funeral   6/24/2016

ITALIAN FUNERAL A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in ...

1 Comments, 13 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Roxy1946 72 F
3  Articles
Colors in Nature   3/9/2015

Artists seem to have an inate ability to tap into the colors of nature and reproduce, through different art forms, the beauty which exists. My youngest has this ability and strums through life on a different wave length, in this different special way, from the rest of us. She told me once, that she felt so different from her playmates, until I explained to her about how I viewed her. I ...

1 Comments, 26 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
9989friend 73 M
1  Article
The thing about ending a relationship is that you have to go on...   7/19/2012

An' here I go again on my own Goin' down the only road I've ever known, Like a drifter I was born to walk alone An' I've made up my mind I ain't wasting no more time. (Whitesnake)

0 Comments, 22 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
_JKH54_ 64 M
26  Articles
Charmin with lotion!   6/17/2008

Bubba and Earl, two rednecks from Tennessee, were in a local Wal-Mart, and they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet extra-long spaghetti and sauce. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.

About a week or ...

3 Comments, 86 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
DanDee1952 67 M
1  Article
A better Woman for Veep   6/6/2008

The latest buzz is about Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin. A fiesty republican, she took on the old school republins in her state, and railed against ear marks like the "Bridge to Nowhere", she stood up against oppostion and supports the drilling of oil, and exposed the scare tactics of those "geenies" that want to talk of a possibility of a danger to Polar bears, where there is none.

She ...

0 Comments, 35 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
remote_gold 71 M
2  Articles
fsdfaaf   3/7/2007


0 Comments, 19 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
remote_gold 71 M
2  Articles
test   3/7/2007

test test test

1 Comments, 20 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
DenverColorado 81 M
7  Articles
Retired Executives dream. . . . . .joke   3/1/2007

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when ...

2 Comments, 123 Views, 17 Votes ,5.81 Score
Hawkslayer 84 M
2  Articles
Letter From a Broken-Heart   9/28/2006

Dear Ex-Love,
I just realized that I would never be able to embrace you the same way as before, and my eyes will no longer be beautiful because your reflection there has gone astray. I should be thankful if this were the only sense of loss that I feel, but there is something more that pierces my heart, something much deeper that I cannot even begin to describe. As I type this ...

1 Comments, 140 Views, 8 Votes ,4.87 Score
GoodCarMa 63 F
57  Articles
Dancing Naked in the Rain   7/31/2006

I reached out and took your hand
Be still, my heart, this love is grand!
The words, my love, so escape me
Read my heart whene'er you take me
My life, my love, my passionate soul
Are yours indeed without control
This love is freeing, not confining
Tis easy to see the silver lining
Each cloud now pregnant with ...

2 Comments, 79 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
Hawkslayer 84 M
2  Articles
A Letter to Julie   6/14/2006

Julie is blonde-haired, blue-eyed and scatterbrained; she's in her 40s and is a nurse in the intensive care dept. at one of the major hospitals and teaching centres here in Georgia. The man met her when he was in there for surgery about four years ago; they became very good friends and have been so ever since.
A few years ago her father died, she then decided to adopt the man as a ...

3 Comments, 238 Views, 13 Votes ,6.83 Score
starwomyn 66 F
6  Articles
Where you see valid achievements or virtue being attacked,.......   5/30/2006

Where you see valid achievements or virtue being attacked, it's by someone viewing them as a mirror of their own inadequacy instead of an inspiring beacon for excellence.” He who seeks vengeance must dig two graves: one for his enemy and one for himself” Chinese Proverbs quotes
[COLOR ...

1 Comments, 82 Views, 25 Votes
starwomyn 66 F
6  Articles
There is a theory   5/21/2006

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

0 Comments, 65 Views, 22 Votes
2  Articles
What's the scoop???   3/25/2006

If a woman decides that she wants to end a relationship why doesn't she just say so, with or without any reasons given?
I have been told by some that the reason that they are not "direct" is that they do not want to hurt anyone. Does anyone actually believe that it it less painful to leave a person wondering or trying to guess "what went wrong"?
I have been told by some ...

1 Comments, 221 Views, 14 Votes ,5.70 Score
lothringia 73 M
1  Article
Frustration !   12/27/2005

I have not written an article in this magazine since August. At that time I discovered the blog section and have taken up full time residence there since. I came here tonight to read an article by Jkh54 that was highly recommended to me. I read the article and I thought it was excellent. But when I tried to post a comment ? AGh, Grrrr, It just wouldn't go thru. I've had that experience here ...

2 Comments, 267 Views, 19 Votes ,4.84 Score
Parisdreamer10 76 F
14  Articles
:( :( :( A Virtual Broken Heart :( :( :(   10/15/2005

If you meet a man in cyber space And within less than a month almost fall in love, But have never seen him face to face, But "talked and talked" (even if only via e-mail), Yet never have so much as shared a hug, You can't wait until the next revelation, Breathless with anticipation, Then when opened, it is expressed, Sweetie, I think we better take a rest! Does a ...

1 Comments, 199 Views, 21 Votes ,5.72 Score
Parisdreamer10 76 F
14  Articles
Why I Broke Up With You, And By The Way, Happy Birthday!   8/7/2005

The following is the actual letter that I sent my ex-boyfriend explaining why I broke up with him and also to wish him a happy 41st Birthday. I have Blocked out our names. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ July 26, 2005 <br> Dear XXXX, I decided to write a letter for your birthday instead of sending a card. There are a few things that I would like to say to you. I ...

1 Comments, 286 Views, 26 Votes ,4.86 Score
Parisdreamer10 76 F
14  Articles
Widow Breaks Up With Younger BoyFriend:Finds Puppy   8/5/2005

I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago after 14 years of marriage. He was 90 and I was then 59! He had been a semi-invalid and on oxygen for about 3 years. We hired a neighbor who was 39 help us with the yard work, etc. When my husband died, I had to move within three months, as we did not own the house. The neighbor helped me move and get settled. One thing led to another. We ...

0 Comments, 140 Views, 14 Votes ,4.10 Score
dingydebby 80 F
1  Article
Come on strong and stop fast   12/1/2004

What is it about men that, they can't waite to get personal and find out how much we girls like sex. Then we give in thinking that we are really desired and have a good relationship in the making. So we finally give in to touching or more and they enjoy the time greatly. Then you never hear from them again. Or even back down on what they say they are looking for. "It is too soon after ...

0 Comments, 190 Views, 32 Votes ,5.02 Score
12  Articles
Response to: Why senior men seek younger women?   10/31/2004

Frankly speaking: The women within my age bracket are all used up and can’t or won’t participate in many of the activities of my lifestyle. I have to strongly disagree with “57 and fine” on this one. I have no problem standing toe to toe intellectually with women my age. Nor do I find that the younger women are intellectually inadequate. Quite the contrary my ...

4 Comments, 345 Views, 71 Votes ,1.82 Score
SheWoIf 65 F
6  Articles
Why No Reason, response   7/16/2004

We are Mature Adults here, not teenagers. So why is it so hard to tell a person, “Hey, it was nice, but you just are not what I am looking for in a mate. I am sorry I did not intend to lead you on, but after considering my needs, I realized, that it would be fair to both of us if we just remain friends, and see other people who may be a better match for each of us.” ...

0 Comments, 42 Views, 78 Votes ,9.00 Score